26/04/2011

Lindsay Lohan Ends Up In Morgue

Lindsay Lohan Ends Up In MorgueLindsay Lohan has got a job in a morgue.

Excellent. That's the only way a Hollywood actress could work with people who eat less than she does.

It's part of her 120 days community service for one of the many things she went to court for recently. Some people feel sorry for her but I think working with dead people will be great for her. She'll finally be working with people whose acting is less lifelike than hers. She'll finally be with people who make her look like she has a good complexion. And for the first time ever she'll be with people who have worse career prospects.

Coroner assistant chief Ed Winter said: "She won't be handling any dead bodies but she'll certainly see them."

Of course she will. I imagine the first day working in a morgue someone's going to try to prank you by sitting a dead body in a chair and telling you that's the HR department. "He tends to fall asleep at work. If he's nodded off just give him a nudge."

Ed added: "She'll be doing basic janitorial work."

She's going to be the janitor in the morgue. So she'll become a loner and then go on a killing spree? Admittedly, all my knowledge of morgues is from rubbish horror films.

Having said that, all my knowledge of Lindsay Lohan is from rubbish films too.

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