25/05/2011

Denmark Bans Marmite

Denmark Bans MarmiteMarmite has been banned in Denmark.

At first glance it's hard to work out why they would do it. My guess was they they banned Marmite to end that over-used cliché, "It's like Marmite, you either love it or you hate it." But not everyone despises clichés like I do. I guess they're like Marmite... D'oh!

But the savoury spread has been taken off the shelves in Danish shops as part of a clampdown on foods fortified with vitamins and minerals.

They're banning foods because they contain vitamins? Who voted for this, teenage kids?

Marmite is high in B vitamins and fortified with folic acid. Danish authorities imposed the restrictions to protect customers from exceeding safe levels of nutrients in their diet.

Who the hell could overdose on Marmite? Most people hate it and those who actually like it can only stomach a thin scraping, about 6 atoms high, on a piece of toast.

Way before you ate enough for the B vitamins to affect you, the amount of salt you just had would've finished you off. But they won't ban foods with salt in them or their bacon industry would collapse. They'd still have their construction industry left. Well, Lego, but it's close enough.

Even if Marmite is bad for you, is banning it the right move? Surely it will go underground. People will start on Twiglets but it's a slippery slope. They'd soon be hooked on Marmite, selling their ass for a piece of the brown stuff. Now there's a bad phrase to end on.

>Read the source story
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