03/07/2011

Prince Albert And The Runaway Bride

What great news. Prince Albert of Monaco married his bride, South ­African Charlene Wittstock. This makes me feel a lot better about my life, that and the other recent royal wedding.

Look at the woman Prince Albert managed to pull and look at the woman Prince William managed to pull. And what do Prince Albert and Prince William have in common? That's right, they're both balding.

OK, they're also both princes but I'm sure that's just a coincidence. Balding is in, baby!

Before the wedding of the head of Monaco to the former Olympic swimmer, she had been dubbed the "runaway bride" amid claims she tried to flee before the big day. Charlene is said to have been intercepted by detectives at Nice airport as she tried to travel back to her native country and even had her passport confiscated before rejoining the Prince for a hand-in-hand tour of Monaco to quell rumours.

I can already see his first mistake. Surrounded by that much water he should've picked someone who couldn't swim as a bride; it would narrow her escape options.

The rumours were that she got cold feet after hearing of the Prince's alleged infidelity.

Well, that's understandable. No bride wants to hear about her bloke cheating, just before the wedding day. The "something borrowed" isn't meant to be the groom. And given what his name means in slang, he could be the "something blue" as well.

To say it was her wedding day she didn't look very happy during it. They had rather negative body language. I saw the coverage on Sky and it felt like it was the first shotgun wedding where the gun was aimed at the bride.

Albert's illegitimate six-year-old son and daughter of 19 were not invited to the wedding. But it's good that he has some illegitimate children, because by the look of the bride at the wedding, she's never going to let him anywhere near her.
>Read the source story
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