20/09/2011

UK Gets Early Big Freeze

UK weatherBritain may get another big freeze this winter with snow expected to sweep in as early as next month.

Oh no! You know that means the country will grind to a halt again? We always do. We get a few flakes of snow and we're brought to our knees.

In fact, that's why Hitler lost. He tried to drop bombs on the UK. We can take that, but if he dropped some snow on us we'd all be German now.

The roads will jam up, the airports will close and we'll have trains cancelled. And they always use that phrase, "The wrong kind of snow." Our trains get delays because of the wrong 'kind' of snow and by the wrong 'kind' of leaves on the line. Eventually you start to think we shouldn't be blaming the snow and the leaves, we probably have the wrong 'kind' of tracks. Sh*t ones!

Long-range forecaster James Madden said: "I expect to see the first signs of some moderate to heavy snowfalls as early as October."

Doesn't that mean it could be snowing during British Summer Time? I don't want to be the pedant here but if there's one weather type you don't expect in 'Summer Time' it's flippin' snow.

I haven't even packed away my summer wardrobe and got my winter stuff out yet. I could be caught in a snow storm while still wearing flimsy summer clothing. It'll be freezing cold and I'll still be in a short-sleeved shirt. What am I meant to do then?

Well, there's only one thing to do. Move to Newcastle, so at least I blend in.

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