19/11/2011

Obama Assassination By 'Jesus'

The man charged with attempting to assassinate President Barack Obama said he was "a modern day Jesus".

Did Jesus go through an assassin stage that I don't remember reading about? I know about the Christmastime birth and that whole encore at Easter, but I don't remember there being a time when Jesus tried to pick people off with a high-powered riffle.

Of all the crazy answers people can come up with when they ask themselves, "What would Jesus do?" the one I thought wouldn't come up was, "Go on a shooting spree."

21-year-old Oscar Ortega-Hernandez is accused of opening fire on the White House with an assault rifle last Friday. He was charged with attempting to assassinate the President.

Obama is, of course, fine as he wasn't in the White House at the time. I'm not a trained killer or anything, but that's makes this guy pretty rubbish. When trying to kill someone, aiming at the building they're in would seem like the minimum requirement.

And this guy thinks he's Jesus. I'm pretty sure Jesus's aim was a bit better than that. Jesus had to have good aim or he'd cure some water and turn some lepers into wine.*

According to witnesses interviewed by the FBI, Ortega-Hernandez had referred to President Obama as "the Anti-Christ" and "the devil" and said that he "needed to kill him".

But it's OK, because afterwards he shook Obama's hand, and apparently that makes everything all right, eh Blatter?

>Read the source story

* A wine made from lepers? Certainly not a full bodied one. Thank you. I'm here all week.
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