14/01/2012

The 2012 Making Babies Olympics

Olympic BabiesExperts say Britain will experience a baby boom in 2013 because of the 2012 Olympics.

It's because of the beach volleyball, isn't it?

Apparently it will act as a "cultural aphrodisiac" along with the Diamond Jubilee.

I can see how watching the fit sweating bodies of athletes in peak condition could float your boat but I don't think wrinkly royalty will be a turn on. If you get sexually excited by old posh people you're probably Sir Bruce Forsyth's wife.

Maybe that's not how it works. Maybe with the non-stop TV coverage the Olympics and Jubilee people will get bored and have to make their own entertainment. I will say this, if you're bored watching the Olympics and decide to have sex instead, turn the sound off. No one needs to hear the proof that their romp was over before Usain Bolt had won the 100m.

Apparently we'll have more babies the more gold medals we win. That implies it'll be part of the celebration. You watch one of our athletes take gold and to celebrate you go have some sex. That's a bit cheeky. It's not like you put in any of the effort to win that medal and yet you use the win to get yourself some ass. It's like a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac story.

Ellis Cashmore, professor of culture at Staffordshire University, said: "It's the kind of situation where people will feel well disposed to each other in an affable if not amorous way."

Just because you're affable with someone doesn't mean you should try to have sex. See, I was paying attention on the sexual harassment in the workplace course I was forced to go on.

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