08/01/2012

999 Help! I Hate My Wife

It's serious, you know.I always love the stories you get in the news about the people who call 999 for stupid reasons. I know it's serious and risks lives, but I don't promote it happening, I just enjoy laughing at the type of idiots this nation is home to.

Last week the North West Ambulance Service revealed they'd received a number of unusual calls over Christmas, including one from a man asking for help to unblock his toilet on Christmas Eve.

What emergency service did he think he needed? It depends how big the offended turd was. If it was a small blockage he'd need the fire brigade. If it was really big the police. Or if it was massive, mountain rescue?

Other non-emergencies included a lady requesting an ambulance after a cotton bud got stuck in her ear. She's so stupid I bet she pushed it further into her ear when you used the phone to call 999.

There was a man saying he had toothache and another complaining of an itchy eye. And these are just the idiots we hear about; god knows how many people call 999 each year because their phone isn't working.

But the biggest idiot award goes to a man who called 999 because his wedding ring was stuck and he wanted to take it off to throw at his wife.

You've got to be fairly good at arguing to be able to take a break like that just before it peaks. "Right, that's it. I'm sick of you. I'll... just let me... OK, you wait there, I'm going to get help with this ring and then we'll see what I think of this marriage!"

He's clearly an idiot because who thinks the best way to teach your wife a lesson is to call up and get some burly firemen to pop round? Yeah, that'll show her.

And the lack of ingenuity is depressing. We live in a country filled with people as stupid as this guy who can't think of a solution other than calling 999. If you can't get your wedding ring off when you want to throw something, how about you throw something else? How about you nip down to Warren James and buy a spare to throw? Or just don't take it off and still throw it? Actually, don't do that, because that would effectively be slapping her. And then she'd be the first person in this whole news story with a good reason to call 999.

>Read the source story
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