29/01/2012

The Writing's On The Wall

Remember the good old days when graffiti was all Nosey Parker drawings and bad spelling? "Jez Woz Ere". I'm sure he was, but Jez wozn't in skool much, yeah?

Graffiti peaked in the days of Banksy. He has made millions from painting on walls. But these days it's cheaper to get some Polish bloke to do it.

Graffiti took a massive nose dive with the advent of people who think we give a crap about their family member's birthday. You can often see a bedsheet tied to a traffic roundabout proclaiming, "Happy 18th Claire."

Yeah, I'm glad you put that sheet there or everyone who doesn't care who you are wouldn't have known not to buy a gift for someone they don't know.

And now it's got even worse. A jilted boyfriend covered his home town in 'romantic' graffiti to try and get his girlfriend back. Great plan. Nothing makes a woman want you more like acting like a total stalker/nutter. If this plan doesn't get her back with you, maybe you should collection her rubbish bins and make a doll of her from her own hair and nail clippings.

He's written his little messages all over Weston-Super-Mare. One says, "Remember the good times we loved and miss". With that lack of punctuation and mixed tenses I think he went to skool wen Jez woz there.

In total he has left 16 of these badly drawn tags, saying things like, "We were the best."

Of course you were, because the best relationships often end up going through a phase were the only way they communicate is via public walls.

I'm sorry but it's time we stopped all this. If you want to say happy birthday or cry about an ex in a public arena, do the right thing, and sign up for Twitter instead.

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