07/02/2012

Actual Spider-Man Could Exist

Spider-ManScientists are investigating a bizarre white cobweb found on nuclear waste - amid fears it could have been made by a 'mutant' spider.

Even with this limited information we can already work a few things out. For a start, their cleaner is getting sacked.

The newspapers immediately said it was "a freakish echo of the Spider-Man comic strip". I think they're getting a little carried away. In the Spider-Man story Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider and gains special powers. But real life is never as cool. Years after Chernobyl and not one Hulk has come out of that region.

And even if this does prove the existence of radioactive spiders, and somehow they can bite you and give you the abilities of a spider, that wouldn't be so impressive in real life.

You know how spiders run for a while and stop, and then run off again. That's because they get a build up of lactic acid in their joints. A real life Spider-Man would go for about 100-years and need a breather.

In the comic book Spider-Man shoots web from his wrists. Bad news, spiders shoot web from a thing on their bum. It would hugely embarrassing for Peter Parker if, every time he wanted to shoot a web, he had to moon.

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