19/02/2012

Dog Gets Credit Card

Most days there's a news story that makes me feel poor. We hear of some bankers getting a bonus of more than I'll ever earn, or we hear that petrol prices are going up, which really makes my arson hobby expensive. But today there's a news story that makes me feel so poor I want to cry.

Kelly Sloan received a letter saying that his dog, Spark, could be eligible for a $30,000 limit credit card.

That dog can get better finance than I can. They think his dog is more likely to repay a loan than I am. I feel like Greece right now.

And to make things worse, the dog has been dead for the last 10 years. So it's not like Spark has been borrowing and repaying for the last decade the build up a good credit rating. It's been buried in the back garden and yet still has better credentials than I have.

The letter read: "We're not offering our low long-term rate to just anyone." That's true. In fact, you're not offering it to anyone at all. You're offering it to a dog.

Don't give a dog a credit card. It'll only use it to buy Acme products in a bid to catch a cat or something. And if you do give a credit card to a dog, don't give it to a normal dog. Give it to a guide dog or a police sniffer. At least they're working dogs. It's credit to the non-working that caused this recession in the first place.

I'll tell you whose fault this is, Harry Redknapp. During his court case we heard that he had thousands paid into a bank account in his dead dog's name. Now banks are thinking dead dogs are the new market.

The dog's owner, Mr Sloan, said: "They've got the right name, the right address, and it's a heck of a deal. She can apply online today, and I guess, get her card."

Spark was a female? And they're just giving her a credit card? I made that mistake once. Still paying it off now.

>Read the source story
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