Dolphins Are People Too

There's a new political movement to give dolphins and whales the same rights as humans because they're so intelligent.

If intelligence was the only thing that makes your a person the people you see on The Jeremy Kyle Show could be turned into tinned food.

Experts at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science said cetaceans — dolphins, porpoises and whales — should get the same status as us humans.

"Whales and dolphins should have legal rights," said the Guardian. "Dolphins should be recognised as non-human persons," said The Telegraph. And "Dolphins to claim benefits and get free house," said The Daily Mail.

They presented a Declaration of Rights for Cetaceans. But they should realise, even the international declaration of human rights means nothing. Sure, they won't be able to torture dolphins if they are captured as prisoners of war, but American will still capture them and send them to Guantanamo Bay.

Although, good luck to the Americans if they do that. You'll be there all day if you try to waterboard a dolphin.