19/03/2012

Panda Giving Birth - Live!

Panda giving birthEdinburgh Zoo is considering streaming the birth of its first baby panda live on the internet.

It'll be like Channel Four's One Born Every Minutes, but as it's pandas it's One Born Every Decade.

Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang arrived in Scotland from Ya'an reserve in Chengdu, China, on December 4 last year. Like all female pandas she will only be in the mood for sex for three days out of the whole year. Well, they're in a long term relationship, so that sounds about normal.

Those three sexy days could be anytime now, so the male panda must be ready to go whenever. If it works, and she gets knocked up, the zoo plans to web stream the delivery.

Don't do that. If there's one thing that'll put her off is knowing that her foo-foo will be shown at its least flattering all over the world. And if you put her off the idea of sex during those three days you may have just killed the species.

Although, she's a panda. If you say you're going to televise her foo-foo she'll think it's a panda in another zoo.

The panda enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo already has a camera installed which allows people to watch the animals on a daily basis.

Then don't film the birth, film the conception. And then show it to the other male pandas. Their partners are only in the mood three days each year and they don't have the internet. It's the least we could do.

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