03/04/2012

Beer Goggles Really Work

Scientists have found how beer goggles work. If you don't know what beer goggles are, it's the term used to describe how when you're drunk you find people attractive that you wouldn't find attractive in the sober light of day.

I thought it was like kebabs. When you're sober you wouldn't think of it as food, but when you're drunk you fancy it. Only when you're drunk will you find yourself munching on some greasy meat. See, it's the perfect analogy.

But science has proved my theory wrong. Beer goggles work because when you have had too much to drink your brain loses its ability to notice asymmetry. As you may know, symmetrical faces are considered to be more attractive.

They mean a vertical line of symmetry. If you have a horizontal plane of symmetry on your face you won't pull even after they have been drinking.

When you're drunk you can't spot the asymmetrical features of someone's face, you think they're attractive and you take them home. By the same logic you shouldn't choose wallpaper when drunk. You won't spot any nasty asymmetry and you'll wake up the next day wanting to know how you can get it out of your bedroom.

The effect is particularly pronounced in women, with female drinkers less able to distinguish between attractive and not so attractive men after just a couple of vodkas.

So the Phantom of the Opera just needed to hand out a few free drinks and it all could've gone way more smoothly.



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