25/07/2012

18 Cops Rescue Sex Doll

18 Cops Rescue Sex DollYou know how you read those stories from Japan about men who live with, and love, those almost-lifelike-but-not-lifelike-enough-to-not-be-weird dolls? Well, I think China has beaten them.

18 police officers in China were sent to rescued a sex doll from a river. That shows real caring. Most of us would just buy a new one. You can get them for as little as £9.99. Erm, I assume.

To be fair, they didn't think it was a sex doll to begin with, but at some point they must have worked it out yet still rescued her. I hope they worked it out, or the mouth-to mouth on the river bank could've taken ages.

They mistakenly thought it was a drowning woman. Arms in the air, surprised look on her face. I can see where they went wrong. But the irony is, she was full of air. She was more buoyant than the 18 guys who went in to save her.

Authorities reportedly could not identify the item until they were much closer. I suppose when you see someone out in the water with slutty make up and large pointy boobs, you don't think it's a sex doll. You think it's Katie Price. But that still doesn't answer why they bothered to save her.

There were more than 1,000 people watching the rescue attempt. Onlookers were reported to have blocked traffic and prevented firefighters from getting through.

Why did the firefighters need to be there? 18 cops seems like overkill, but even if she was real, she was in a river. She was unlikely to burn to death.

It didn't need 18 officers and it certainly didn't need the other emergency services but they probably turned up because it was a sex doll. So the moral of the story is, if you go for a swim, don't use a float or arm bands, use an inflatable sex doll. If you get into difficulties you'll get much better help.

>Read the source story
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