01/07/2012

Attack Of The Meat-Eating Plants

Three species of carnivorous plant that feed on worms underground have been discovered in the Brazilian savannah.

I never like meat-eating plants. We're made of meat and we shouldn't be lower than a plant on the food chain.

You feel sorry for the worms that get eaten by a plant. It's up there with being beaten up by a girl when you're in primary school. It does your reputation no good.

I also feel sorry for the other plants. A meat-eating plant is kind of the plant version of a vegetarian in the human world. Every time the other plants start tucking into some sunlight the meat-eater will start preaching about how they never touch the stuff. "I only eat worms. They're organic. You just don't know where that sunlight's been."

And you know that if the meat-eater plant tropisms round to see another plant for dinner, he won't say that he only eats meat. When he gets there there'll be this big fuss about how the host should've asked.

Eventually the host plant will just serve up some Quorn and tell him it's real meat just to shut him up.

And you can always tell which plant will preach about dietary alternatives because it is the one with a beetle all over it. Which is also what happens in the human world, if McCarney's marriages are anything to go by.

>Read the source story
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