17/07/2012

Olympian Banned From Sex With His Own Wife

Lauryn Mark banned from having sexAustralia's Olympic team has had an interesting issue. One of its athletes has complained that he has been banned from sleeping with his own wife at the Games Village.

That seems like it is out of order. In the UK we don't ban our sportsmen from sleeping with their own wives. Heck, for John Terry, anyone's wife is game.

Shooter Russell Mark... before we carry on, is that the right job title? It's what it said in the newspaper. He's shooting at the Olympics but calling him a shooter is like calling Victoria Pendleton a peddler. Anyway...

Shooter Russell Mark has said that his wife Lauryn, a fellow competitor, has been told to stay in a separate room during the Olympics. Why is he so upset? When you go away with your partner and find out the hotel only has twin beds, be honest, do you think, "Great! I'll finally get some room to myself."

He said the Australian authorities enforced the ban following his wife's appearance in Zoo magazine. I'm not sure why that would make them want him to stop having sex with her. Unless it wasn't the lads mag, it was just a zoo magazine. If she's in the Olympics is she a person or is she competing in the dressage?

Mark said about the officials: "They are pissed with my stance on sleeping tablets."

He is pro-sleeping tablets and he thinks that's why they have banned him from having sex with his wife. If he is taking all those sleeping tablets he wouldn't be having that much sex anyway.

Mark also said: "I am very frustrated because in sport there are a lot of same sex couples and it's OK to be partners with someone of the same sex but if you are heterosexual you are penalised."

He nearly made a pun there.

The best bit is the story is where Nick Green, 'chef de mission' for the Australian team joins in. He said, "It is simply not true." That means it was just something his missus made up to get out of having sex with him.

He certainly won't be a 'shooter' during this Olympics.

>Read the source story

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