30/09/2012

Man With Eel Up His Bum

Favourite story if the week has to be the one about the man which went to the doctor with an eel up his bum. I bet that stopped him singing Novocaine For The Soul.

However sorry you feel for the man you have too feel more sorry for the eel.

It was in New Zealand and the newspaper that reported it said, "It is unclear how the creature became stuck inside the man." Don't even bother asking, the story always goes the same way. "I was hanging the curtains in nude the when I slipped and landed on [name of object]."

There's so much wrong with that excuse.

1: The one time you wouldn't walk round you're house naked is when you didn't have the curtains to draw.
2: You wouldn't hang the curtains when nude because of the slight chilly draught.
3: You wouldn't want your neighbours to see you naked while hanging curtains because of shrinkage. (See point 2 about the chilly draught.)
4: If you slip and start to fall you clench.
5: Who leaves a lubed up [name of object] just lying around, pointing up, near a window?

Anyway, he went to hospital, was sent for X-rays and a scan, and they confirmed the creature was firmly lodged up his tradesmen's.

Doctors managed to remove the eel. I'm not sure how but for the man's sake I hope it wasn't using the "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" technique.

In case you don't know, that's based on a children's nursery rhyme where a woman swallowed a fly (you probably guessed that) but then she swallows a spider to eat the fly, because we all know spiders eat flies.

If you you tried the same with the eel guy you'd have to think of something that famously eats eels. All I can think of is Cockneys. Ouch!

>Read the source story
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