07/10/2012

David Blain's Shocking New Trick

David Blaine is doing another stunt, which is what he is famous for. When I hear mention of his name I think, "stunt". Well, something like that.

He is currently (that's a pun that most won't notice) stood on a platform in New York in a high-voltage Tesla coil with electricity running through his body. But it's really low current. There's no risk to it. It's the same thing that happens when I wear my cheap shoes on my nylon carpet. It's a shame that he didn't let his hair grow long before doing this. He could've had a wicked electro-afro.

But what's the point of that? You're meant to do a trick that is so impressive it makes the people who are watching have their hair stand on end, not yours.

He'll be stood on this platform for 73 hours without food. So it's the same trick that he always does. He just stands around doing nothing for a few days. He's like a supply teacher.

In the past he has famously sat in a glass box in London for weeks. If I wanted to see someone do nothing behind glass I'd try to get served in the Post Office.

During his time on there he will have to urinate through a catheter. That's why no one has done these feats before, no one wants the world to know they're weeing in a catheter.

One onlooker said, "I don't know if he's really feeling something or if it's like those volts that you can touch and nothing happenings." Yeah, as long as he doesn't earth himself he'll probably be fine.

And that explains why he needs a catheter. If he took a normal wee while on that platform the fluid would hit the ground and earth him. That would be painful. His tadger would end up looking like an exploded trick cigar in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.

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