18/11/2012

As Thick As Criminals

IdiotPrison isn't working. We know that. They're like universities where people go to study being a criminal. When they get out they find it hard to get a job, so it really is like a university.

But what can you do? People have to be punished and community service doesn't seem to work. Thankfully a court in America has hit the nail on the head. They ordered a woman who drove her car on the pavement to carry a sign saying she was an idiot.

Shena Hardin didn't want to wait behind a school bus that was holding up traffic, so she decided to drive around the bus by going on the pavement. Great plan, because it's not like anyone would be on that pavement, like, I don't know, loads of school kids heading to the bus and... Oh, hang on.

She was caught on CCTV and was ordered to stand for 2 hours with a handwritten sign reading: "Only an idiot would drive on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus."

This is great. It punishes her without clogging up the prison system. I think it could be rolled out to cover other crimes. We could see burglars with signs that say, "Tut, I am such a knobhead. Soz."

Or maybe a fraudulent banker with a placard that says, "What am I like, eh?!"

And maybe a shoplifter with a handwritten sign that says, "You do not want to know where I got the pens to make this with!"

There's another story in the news today about the Yorkshire Ripper wanting to be released. Yeah, sure, why not? Just make him wear a T-shirt that says "I'm With Stupid" but the arrow points straight up.

And what's great about this system is that it's based on making guilty criminals look like idiots in public. And all of those kids who wear their jeans so low it looks like they are in need of a nappy change are dishing out their own punishment. Looks like they think they're all going to end up as criminals too.

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