25/11/2012

You May Never See Your Doctor Again

The Express has: "End of the Doctor's Surgery".

It says that face-to-face appointments are going to be a thing of the past. Looks like the doctors' receptionists have finally got what they always wanted. For years they have done everything they could to stop the patients seeing the GP. Many of us have had phone conversations that go like this.

YOU: "Hi, can I book an appointment to see the doctor?"
HER: "And what's wrong with you?"
YOU: "Well, that's why I need to see the doctor."
HER: "Is it an emergency?"
YOU: "I guess not. If it were an emergency I'd have called 999."
HER: "The doctor can't see non-emergency cases today. I can't book you in till next Thursday."
YOU: "But I'm ill now. I don't know if I'll still be ill by then. I don't know if I'll be alive by then."
HER: "Then you don't need an appointment. Bye" *click*

For some reason they thought their job was to stop people seeing the doctor, but now a bid to save nearly £3billion will slash the face-to-face appointments with a doctor and treating patients via computers instead.

Basically the plan to save money in the NHS is to have us Skype in to the TV show Embarrassing Bodies. I don't want to have to get my bits out in front of a webcam when I'm ill. I only want to do that when I'm looking my best. I have a reputation to uphold.

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt is planning a technological revolution, a new system of "virtual clinics", where you get examined via iPads and Skype. What a great plan. I have a really sore finger, all I know to do is tap the app and... ouch, my finger!

Oh well, the great thing about that is, we won't need doctors' receptionists any more.

>Read the source story
Share:

Get the FREE SomeNews email






"Today's Some News email is hilarious... Subscribe if you haven't yet! Top stuff" 

Twitter

LIVE SHOWS

The SomeNews Live Show
See where the SomeNews Live Show will be next.

Contact

Written/edited by Mr Steve N Allen
If you need to get in touch email info@somenews.co.uk, call 07510334318 or Skype SomeNews.co.uk. See the About SomeNews page for more info.

Blog Archive