29/05/2013

[Radio Minipodcast] 28th May 2013 - What You Couldn't Live Without

I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Tuesday 28th of May 2013.

In the minipodcast we talk about the things you couldn't live without, Diet Coke names making me feel pretty, and a round up of the last things you heard.


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Mariah Carey's Live TV Wardrobe Malfunction

Wardrobe malfunctions had been out of the news for a while. I never liked the phrase. It sounded more like it was the briefest précis of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe ever.

But they're back, as Mariah Carey had a wardrobe malfunction live on TV. She was on Good Morning America when the back of her dress broke. Good Morning America, indeed. Mariah said, "My dress just popped!" And the hosts didn't go to help her.

Well, if I heard someone say that I'd assume it was just an excuse to cover a fart. If there's no dog to blame you have to pick something.

Mariah then said: "It seems like a YouTube moment, possibly a Spotify moment!"

Does she not know what Spotify is? Or is she so musical she needs the right background music before she lops a pap out?

She managed to hold onto the front of the dress, so no one saw anything too breasty. That's a shame. With the number of times she's bothered the charts in recent years that could've been the biggest release she's had in ages.

>Read the source story
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28/05/2013

[Radio Minipodcast] 27th May 2013 - Ripped Off, BH & Katy Perry

I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Monday 27th of May 2013.

In the minipodcast we talk about Katy Perry's bra requirements, getting ripped off and what you got up to on the bank holiday.


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25/05/2013

Podcast 48 - Terror, Football & Hope

SomeNews podcast
It's the SomeNews Podcast, episode 48.

In this podcast:

Woolwich (starts 01:34)
Alex Ferguson (starts 03:17)
Brighton FC's Poo (starts 04:47)
Bangladesh Hope (starts 06:17)
Alcohol Payback (starts 08:40)



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23/05/2013

Men KOd By Toilet Fumes

Another headline that caught my eye tells of "Men Overcome by 'Dangerous' Toilet Fumes". Let's be honest, we've all had that. And I don't just mean from something you ate. Forget to flush after you've put bleach down, go for gold and you can make chlorine gas. That's either real science or something I dreamed once. Either way, it's a worry.

The two men were taken to hospital and their building evacuated. Wow. Talk about, "I'd give it a minute if I were you." I've cleared a room before, but never a building.

The men, believed to be in their 60s, suffered breathing difficulties after sulphuric acid had been mixed with toilet clearer in the bowl, creating a dangerous gas.

Forget the gas, why were they pouring H2SO4 down the lav? How bad were the skids that a di-basic acid was needed? So many questions in this story, none of which I want answered.

It ends OK though. The East of England Ambulance Service said the men were treated and stabilised before being taken to Southend Hospital. And hopefully prescribed some fibre.

>Read the source story
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22/05/2013

Phones or Sex?

According to a new survey 94% of Brits would rather live without sex than their mobile phone.

Hmm, an interesting dilemma. Well, I pay monthly for it so I wouldn't want to be without it... so I'd keep the sex.

Kidding! I don't pay monthly for sex. That's more of a pay as you go deal.

I guess it makes sense. I'd be better at going without sex than my phone because I have put the practice in. Since Motorola brought out their brick I've always had a phone. During the same time I haven't always had sex. In many ways using a mobile is better than sex. Although you'll get tutted at if you do either in a train's quiet carriage.

Also in the survey 9% admitted they preferred their mobile phones to their children. If you would've stuck to your phones instead of having sex in the first place you wouldn't be having these regrets now.

Thankfully this is all theoretical. You don't actually have to pick between your phone and having sex. In fact, put it on vibrate and you're well on your way to having both at once. You can always try "sexting". I did that the other day. It's great. It's the only way I can get those PPI people to leave me alone.

>Read the source story
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21/05/2013

Tories and Equal Marriage - Topical Stand-Up [Video]

Mr Steve N Allen live topical comedyEvery week at The Monday Night News Show in London SomeNews.co.uk goes live.

Below is a short video from this week's show. In it we look at the latest trouble the Tories are having. Europe and the gay marriage vote are causing some problems for them.

Have a look...



Watch on YouTube or download the avi

At the actual gig we also covered Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement, David Beckham's retirement and something to do with Primark. Come and see the show live any Monday.

P.S. Here are all the topical videos from past Monday Night News Shows - check them out.

P.P.S. For the next two weeks you can see SomeNews live at the Brighton Fringe - the full length topical stand-up show.
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20/05/2013

Love On The Underground

To Prague, where there are plans to run an underground train for people to try and find someone to pull. It's a special "love train". Or if you're the kind of perv who enjoys rubbing your crotch into the person in front of you during rush hour, it's just like every other train.

The plan is to have a special section on some trains where single commuters will go and potentially find a partner while travelling. You'll be able to tell which carriage it is as there will be a sign, and it'll just be full of fat businessmen.

I hope the rules are enforced. If you get on there with a wedding ring you should get tutted at like someone using a mobile phone in the quiet carriage.

Some people don't like the idea. One male passenger said: "When I'm in a rush, I enter the first open door I see. I should watch out now and make sure no one starts seducing me." Don't worry, take it from me, you get used to it.

Still, it's nice to know you can meet someone and get off a few minutes later.

>Read the source story
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18/05/2013

Venezuela Caught Short.. of Loo Roll

Venezuela is running out of toilet roll. It's causing a national panic. Now is not a good time to be a Labrador puppy over there, you could be shot on sight.

People over there have been panic buying loo roll. It's tricky, because you don't want to panic too much, or you'll have an accident and use up all your supply.

The paper shortage is an embarrassing episode for new president Nicolas Maduro, who was chosen as Hugo Chavez’s successor before the iconic leader’s death in March. He has to be careful how he plays this. Take a lead from Marie Antoinette and don't say, "Let them use a bidet."

One person caught up in this told a journalist, "I’ve been looking for it for two weeks. I was told that they had some here and now I’m in line."

It just makes you realise how lucky we are. Even the people suffering in the Eurozone countries don't have that problem. In fact, as the Euro fails and the notes are worth the paper they're printed on, if anything they have more paper to wipe their arses with.

The government has promised to import 50 million rolls in the next few weeks and has blamed the shortage on anti-Maduro forces attempting to destabilise the country.

Yes. If I wanted to bring down a nation I'd do it by cutting off their bog roll supply. You know what they say, "society is two meals away from anarchy". I think it's probably two poos away from it too.

>Read the source story

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17/05/2013

[Radio Minipodcast] 17th May 2013 - Where Have You Been Stuck & Beckham

I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Friday 17th of May 2013.

In the minipodcast we talk about the places you have got yourself stuck, and the retirement of David Beckham. And the final listener feedback voicemails.


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Man Dies of Wasp Love

A man in Sweden has died after having sex with a hornet's nest.

Did it have HIV? Wow, shocker!

No, a 35-year-old man was discovered with 146 stings on his body, of which 54 were on his genitals.

I can't help thinking one of his mates will be at the funeral sobbing, "Why didn't he listen!? I didn't say, 'Get yourself a horNET...'"

He was left so bloated by the fatal incident, neighbours mistook him for a whale carcass when they saw his inflamed body lying on a lawn.

So the moral of the story is, don't try to have sex with hornets. And if you need to be told that I should also say don't try to nail your face to a post, lick the electrified rail on The London Underground, or try to quit breathing for Lent. I'm here to help.

>Read the source story



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16/05/2013

[Radio Minipodcast] 16th May 2013 - Why Were You Sacked & McFly

I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Thursday 16th of May 2013.

In the minipodcast we talk why you may have been sacked, we talk to Tom from McFly and even more listener feedback.


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When Steve Chatted To Tom From McFly

I was lucky enough to get to chat to Tom Fletcher, aka Tom from McFly. He's very tech-savvy, and by that I mean he's a bit of a social media expert. I'm a massive social media obsessive, so we ended up talking about that. Have a listen.


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15/05/2013

[Radio Minipodcast] 15th May 2013 - Claims To Fame

I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Wednesday 15th of May 2013.

In the minipodcast we talk about your strange claims to fame, review the papers and get more of your listener feedback.


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Princess Kate Has Best Pregnant Hair - FACT

My favourite headline of the day, from the Express...

"The Duchess of Cambridge claims top spot in favourite pregnant celebrity hairstyle poll"

Wow. Who knew they did a poll of people's favourite hairstyles of pregnant celebrities? That gets to the bottom of the issues that everyone's talking about.

I tried to make my own list of favourite pregnant celebrity hairstyles after reading this. I was a list of only one person because I couldn't think of more. And the only reason there was one on the list was because I'd just read about Kate Middleton.

It's Fabriah.com that surveyed 350 women about who had the best hair while pregnant. I've read the rest of the survey and it includes people like Halle Berry and Frankie Sandford from The Saturdays.

Sadly it let me down. I was hoping that somewhere in the results would be a celebrity with nice hair but who isn't actually pregnant, they've just got fat lately. Shame.

>Read the source story
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14/05/2013

[Radio Minipodcast] 14th May 2013 - Beiber and #OohTheresNothingWorse

Me on the radioI covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Tuesday 14th of May 2013.

In the minipodcast we talk about the things you would rather do than go to see Justin Bieber and the things in life that are minor gripes but make you say, "Oooh there's nothing worse." And we get more listener feedback.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.



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Would You Rather? Justin Bieber?

Nearly a third of people would rather do housework or go to a Justin Bieber concert that do physical exercise, according to what I can only assume was a badly worded survey.

Do these people realise it's not and either or? If Bieber has managed to convince people he's the only alternative to the gym no wonder he's the biggest celeb in the world. He's be as popular as obesity, and that's doing very well these days.

Maybe that's why he didn't get too many complaints when he was two hours late to start his shows. People were thinking, "Well, this is annoying but it's two hours where I haven't have to try and work out while no-necked guys make me feel bad."

The same survey asked people who often they exercised. 32% said once a month. That's an awful lot of going to see Justin. Seeing him once a month.

But let's not forget there was another option. Doing housework. I could just do a bit of housework and save myself from the gym and JB? Brill. And it explains why teenagers have such messy rooms. That's science.

>Read the source story
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13/05/2013

[Radio Minipodcast] 13th May 2013 - #ObviousLies

Me on the radioI covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Monday 13th of May 2013.

In the minipodcast we talk about the lies that you hear all the time that you can tell are lies a mile off. And we get more listener feedback.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.



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And if you enjoyed that check out my SomeNews Topical Podcast.
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