07/05/2013

Happy Steve

My Happy FaceA new survey says the happiest man in Britain is probably called Steve. Interesting. I wonder if it's me? If it is me, that would be great. I've never won anything before. Winning the title of happiest man in Britain would cheer me right up, because I've been a bit down of late and... oh.

The fact that the picture in the item is me doing my happy face was a bit of a give away.

The study looked at the most content people and worked out that the the happiest man is likely to be a 60-year-old married teacher named Steve, living close to Edinburgh.

If you are a 60-year-old married teacher named Steve, living close to Edinburgh, this puts a lot of pressure on you. If you're not feeling that happy it will really make you think you've failed. Life gives you the best hand and you don't play it right.

The study also claimed that he is likely to have grey hair, blue eyes, wear glasses and love spending time with his family and friends. This is getting creepy now. It's like they're doing a cold reading. If they guess the name of his dog I'm going to call it witchcraft.

The survey has some interesting findings. Researchers who carried out the study said: "Men were found to be happier than women." That makes sense. It's far more likely that a man will be called Steve than a woman will.

And the lighter someone's hair was the happier they were found to be, and the most joyful Britons were also more likely to wear glasses.

This makes the game of Game Who a piece of cake. Your first question is, "Does your person look happy?" and if they say, "Yes," it's Paul.


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