14/08/2013

Dog Man Has Sex With Cat

Some stories are just so wrong. 28-year-old Ryan Havens Tanneholz, from Boise in Idaho, America, who dresses up as a dog has been arrested on suspicion of having sex with cat.

So much wrong. Let's take it one at a time. Firstly, don't try to f*** any non-consenting animals. Not that an animal can give consent. When a horse says neigh he means it!

Secondly, don't try to f*** a cat. They have sharp claws and they like chasing little balls around the place. And they like to eat things that smell of fish. Just everything about this situation is so wrong.

Thirdly, if you want to attract a cat, in a sexual way, dress as another cat. Cats sleep with cats, cats don't sleep with dogs. Cats don't even sleep with dogs to rebel against their dads.

I saw in a documentary that cats won't even mate with skunks even if the cat has a stripe of white paint down its back.*

Remember, don't try to have sex with cats. When your mates say you should go out, get drunk, and f*** some sweet pussy... well...

* Le Pew, Pepé, Little Beau Pepé, 1974.

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