18/09/2013

Nasa Will Pay you To Go To Bed With Them

I now have a plan for if/when this stand-up/radio/dog walking career doesn't work out. Nasa is looking for people to lie in bed for 70 days. If it wasn't for the fact the fridge is out of reach I'd have cracked that every 70 days.

That's not true, I guess. I leave the house whenever I get booked to do a stand-up gig. So I would only have got to about 30 days in bed. But still, good practice.

Nasa will pay £3,000 a month, which means it's better paid than stand-up, and it probably has the same amount of groupies.

During the 70 days in bed the volunteer can play computer games, use the internet, watch TV or read. Damn it. If it wasn't for the reading part this could've been a solution to the benefits culture problem in the UK.

They're doing a study to find out how microgravity effects the body during spaceflight. I like the sound of mircrogravity. I'd imagine the effects of it are far less than the effects of normal gravity. My moobs wouldn't sag less, my balls wouldn't be slowly making their way towards my knees with every passing year, my arse wouldn't look like two hairy clutch bags and most of all, I would weigh far far less.

Nasa. Sign me up!

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