06/12/2013

Best Invention Ever - Spiky Vest

I have found the best thing to ever be invented in the history of ever. (N.B. I'll fact check that later.)

Designer Siew Ming Cheng has created a spiked vest so people have to give you your personal space on public transport. It's a common complaint. You're on the Tube and someone has their bits up against your bits. No, R Kelly, this is exactly what's wrong with a little bump n grind, I'm trying to read the Metro.

With the spike vest you could finally get off the Tube before the idiots try to cram on. And when you get off, simple unpick the body parts left on your vest and go about your day.

Well, actually, the vest has been made with plastic spikes, not metal ones, so you don't kill passers-by and also so no journalists can leave stories stuck on you.

It's a great invention, but not for the use they suggest. Sure, people standing too close on public transport is a bind, but the spike vest could be put to a far better use - huggers.

I'm from the north, I can't handle these people who hug you to say hello. People you've maybe met once before, probably in a work setting. No. It's not how we did things up there. When people hug me I have to go to my mental "happy place". And I'm from the north, so even my happy place isn't that happy.

So forget the Tube, I'm getting one of these vests. It'll change my life. Wanna celebrate? Sure thing, let's hug it out.

>Read the source story

Share:

Get the FREE SomeNews email






"Today's Some News email is hilarious... Subscribe if you haven't yet! Top stuff" 

Twitter

LIVE SHOWS

The SomeNews Live Show
See where the SomeNews Live Show will be next.

Contact

Written/edited by Mr Steve N Allen
If you need to get in touch email info@somenews.co.uk, call 07510334318 or Skype SomeNews.co.uk. See the About SomeNews page for more info.

Followers

Blog Archive