18/12/2013

Dutch Prostitutes Want Footballers' Pensions

In prostitute news: Dutch prostitutes are trying to get the same pension rights as professional footballers.

It just goes to show, if you spend enough time with a profession you start to want the same working conditions that they have.

They say they want to enjoy the same retirement perks as professional footballers because they also do "difficult physical work" in the prime of their lives. Yeah, practising ball skills, going down in the box, working with 10 men... you see where I'm going with this.

A lawyer for the company that's taking up this case said: "Footballers and prostitutes both do a difficult physical job that they cannot do their whole life."

Hmm, he has a good point. In fact the footballers have it easier. When a prostitute reaches the end of her playing career she can't get a job as a pundit on the BBC passing comment on the current prostitutes, on a TV show called something like Snatch of the Day. A former prostitute would never get the job of endorsing a brand of crisps in a series of adverts, unless they did a cocaine flavour.

There's one thing that former footballers do to make money that former prostitutes should get in on. Around this time of year you can walk into a shop and see loads of new fragrances that certain sportsmen have released. Get in on that, prostitutes. Everyone loves that lemon scent.

>Read the source story

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