02/12/2013

Sexiest Place in Britain

I don't want to sound like a hairdresser trying to fill silence with pointless chitchat but, have you been on holiday this year?

I ask because the number of holidays in the UK has increased. It's because of the global economic downturn meaning that (a) Brits can't afford to travel, and (b) a lot of foreign countries have closed down.

If you're having a UK holiday, or a "staycation" as it is unfortunately called, how do you pick where to go? You may have done all the classics - the Skegness, the Blackpool - you may have a "Kiss Me Quick" hat. Or maybe you visited the university city of Cambridge and now you have a "Kiss Me Quickly" hat, because they get the point of adverbs. But now there's a new one to try.

The Northern Irish town of Bangor has been named the UK's sexiest place. I can imagine why. When people say, "Last weekend I got on the ferry to Bangor," it sounds like one hell of a booty call.

How can a news story know that a town is the sexiest? Well, it's because its residents spend the most on spicing up their sex lives. Research by adult entertainment specialists Lovehoney has found where in the UK people spend the most bringing excitement into the bedroom.

See, I would've thought it was the other way round. If a sexy town is full of sexy people doing sexy things the residents wouldn't have to buy items to make it more exciting. Heck, that place would be like a ghost town, no one would need to leave the house. It certainly wouldn't show up in a survey. There'd just be someone stood on the High Street holding a clipboard thinking, "Well, where is everybody?"

Bangor's residents spend 6.7 times the national average on their bedroom 'gear', including 10.7 times more on raunchy gifts and ten times the national average on fetish clothing for women.

So, for my next holiday I'm going there. And I'll bring back a hat with three words on it. And it won't be the "Quick" part that gets updated.

>Read the source story
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