31/12/2014

Comedy Podcast 64 - Review of 2014

SomeNews podcast

It's the SomeNews Podcast, episode 64 - The Review of 2014.

In this podcast:

Another year done, another year closer to the unstoppable end. Oh, but on a lighter note here is the review of the year through the eyes of the SomeNews podcast. There are many topics in there but the main ones are...

The Economy (02:06)
Russia pt1 - Crimea (05:55)
Pope News (10:27)
Terror Threat (12:44)
Fappening (18:00)
Russia pt2 - The Hacks (22:14)
Counter Terrorism (27:04)





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And here's the review of 2013, for old time's sake.
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28/12/2014

[Radio Podcast] What Day, Your Made Up Laws, and Hangover Advice

The final radio show of 2014. In this one we ask what laws you'd make up if you could, what would you call this day that's between Christmas and New Year, and we hear the official NHS advice on hangovers.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 28th December 2014.)




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UK Trains Delay Shocker!

In this country we love talking about bad public transport, immigrants and the weather. On those odd occasions where the trains stop due to a snow storm caused by Siberian winds, we're cock-a-hoop.

Over the last 24 hours we got two out of three. Parts of the north were hit by snow that caused some roads to be blocked. The perfect excuse for some delays to the trains. Well, it would've been if the train delays weren't in the snow-free south.

In London, Kings Cross was closed, causing huge disruption to the trains and possibly some prostitutes. Loads of people had to find some other way to get there. And so did the people who were using the trains.

It's all because of over-running engineering works. They had Christmas Day and Boxing Day to get the work done but it wasn't finished in time. This at a time when one man in a sleigh can manage to travel to all the good boys and girls in one night. It really shows up what a piss shower these train guys are.

It meant that trains were terminating at Finsbury Park, where you had to change to the Tube, but too many people were there so they closed the station because of overcrowding. Sadly the overcrowding wasn't caused by Romanians or we'd have the trifecta.

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27/12/2014

UK 2nd Best Nation At...

Good news, Britain is near the top of another league table. The bad news is it's the league table of fattest nations in Europe, but these days a win's a win.

Yes, Britain is now the second fattest nation in Europe with almost a quarter of the UK’s population classed as obese. When we collect our silver medal for this I hope we remember to thank all those who helped to make it possible, such as fast food companies, food advertising and of course, Scotland for not voting to leave.

The figures show that Hungary beats us in the fat league, which makes sense. When you live in a nation that even sounds like a reminder to eat you must get through a fair few meals.

NHS head Simon Stevens sure enough has said we need to "get back in shape" after the Christmas and New Year blow-out or face a crisis. Yeah, he's right. The amount of food we eat at this time of year is silly. I gain weight so quickly over Christmas I'm amazed there's not a "pop" sound.

We need to do something to lower the average weight of the people in the UK or we'll stay dangerously high in the chart of European fat nations.

Interestingly the slimmest in the chart was was Romania, where just 7.9% are obese. If Ukip hadn't scuppered the plans of those theoretical millions who were going to move over here at the start of 2014 they could have really brought down our average and saved us from having to go on a diet.

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26/12/2014

Think Yourself Fit

With Christmas now over it's time for one of the most painful parts of the festive period – the adverts for diets. Before we've even had time to poo out what was once a turkey we get shown images of people starving themselves to undo the damage caused by enjoying life for once.

If you start to cave into the pressure and think about joining a gym let me bring you some good news. Scientists say that thinking about exercising can make you stronger, tone your muscles, and delay or stop muscle atrophy.

This is great news. That means you don't have to actually get out of this arm chair, I can simply think about doing exercise. I tried thinking about it earlier but it was boring so I found it difficult. Darn it, why is it never easy to get in shape!?

But this is still worth it, because imagined gym is so much better than real gym. When I go to the gym in my mind there's no one else there. That's probably because it's so small, but that means the gym equipment in my mind doesn't have to be wiped down of other people's bum sweat.

And in my mind the gym there's no instructor looking like a ham in a vest making me feel bad about my body.

The scientists found this out by taking two sets of 'healthy individuals', setting their wrists in a cast and only one set were told to sit still for 11 minutes, five days a week, for four weeks, and 'perform mental imagery of strong muscle contractions,'. The ones who thought about the action had better muscle tone. That explains why I have better developed muscles in my right arm, I must be thinking on the right side more.

So there you have it, I can be in better shape in the New Year just by thinking. I'm going to be dynamite with the ladies. Especially as from now on I'm only going to be thinking about cleaning my teeth.

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24/12/2014

[Radio Podcast] Panto, Xmas Etiquette, Zooey Deschanel

The third and final part of the special Christmas run of shows. In this we talk about the correct Xmas etiquette, Oh Yes It Is vs Oh No It Isn't, and @LarryEnts tells us about Zooey Deschanel's riding.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Wednesday 24th December 2014.)




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News500 - North Korea, Sony Hack and Queen's Speech [Video]

Here's a brand new News500 show. This time it's a Christmas special, so along with the usual look at recent news there's the Queen's Speech.

In the news, the man who found the woman with the right name, Paris Hilton's wet patch, DNA research and much more.



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[Radio Podcast] Santa, Banning Xmas & Liz Hurley

Part 2 of the special Christmas run of shows. In this we talk about the bits of Xmas you'd ban, we get Santa on the phone a few times and @LarryEnts tells us about Liz Hurley's cards.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Tuesday 23rd December 2014.)




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Liquid Christmas Lunch

Christmas. It's all about the food. We eat and then eat, and in between all the eating we like to nibble on something so we still have our energy for when the next eating comes round.

That's why the original BandAir worked so well, the contrast between their starving and our gluttony. But BandAir30 was about ebola and people having really bad diarrhoea is pretty much what we all feel like on Boxing Day.

Apparently we're likely to have as many calories on Christmas Day as you'd find in 12 Big Macs. I'm not sure which would be the more fun to eat but now I've asked that question on this site it means doing the experiment is tax deductible.

The only downside with all that Christmas eating is the effort you have to go to chewing it. If you're not careful you might burn off some of those calories with all that chewing. Thankfully someone has come up with a solution.

Dr Rachel Edwards-Stuart has designed a liquid Christmas dinner all in one glass. It was originally made for jockeys but I'm sure we can have some, especially if any was put on a high shelf.

It contains carrot fluid gel and potato-infused foam. Yum. The only problem is, because it's meant for jockeys trying to keep their weight down, it only has 332kcal. You'd have to drink 21 of those to get your Christmas calorific intake. But what would be best, that, the Big Macs or the normal Christmas lunch? I'll fill in all the details in my self assessment form.

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[Radio Podcast] Harrison Ford, Last Minute Gifts & Old Spice

The first of a special Christmas run of shows. In this we talk about last minute shopping options, the aftershaves that make men smell good, and @LarryEnts tells us what Harrison Ford has been up to.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 22nd December 2014.)




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22/12/2014

Comedy Podcast 63 - The Sony Hack vs Kim Jong-un North Korea Special

SomeNews podcast

It's the SomeNews Podcast, episode 63.

In this podcast:

It's a special edition. The film The Interview's use of Kim Jong-un seems to have led to the Sony hacking and a whole lot of other trouble, so SomeNews presents a special edition where we look at the story plus bring together all of the past features we have done on North Korea.





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