01/01/2014

The Migrants Are Coming!

Happy New Year to you. I write this from under a den I have created from sofa cushions and a dressing gown over the end. I'm hiding for my own safety. According to the newspapers the migrant flood from Romania and Bulgaria has started today so I can only assume that outside of my den we're awash with foreigners. I hope this message gets to you before one of them takes my job and writes this website for me.

The papers have been telling us to expect masses of immigrants coming over here, living off the state, etc. The 1st of January saw the restrictions lifted on their low skilled workers coming here so no wonder I was worried. It's hard to see how bad things are from inside my comfy fortress but as I was climbing in I saw that the first plane full had landed in Luton airport. They showed the one Romanian migrant who was on that plane getting off, saying he wanted to clean cars. Damn it! That was going to be my job if this media lark didn't work out.

The fact that there was only one guy on this plane wasn't quite what had been expected. It said in the paper, "At least 5,000 are expected in the first week alone." The 4,999 must've got a later flight. If you don't check in on time they can be right sticklers.

Anyway, many are thought to be arriving by coach not plane. The coaches have to travel 1,600 miles across many countries to get here. When they arrive they'll be filthy. So that's why they send over the car washer first. My god, they're clever.

When the wannbe car washer got off the plane he was greeted by Home Affairs Select Committee chairman Keith Vaz. It's a great plan. If anything will make them get right back on the return flight...

I saw on the news Keith taking the new migrant for a coffee. A coffee that he'll put through on expenses I bet. A coffee they we, the tax payers, will fund. See, they're living off the state already!

While the start may have been slow the news websites still seem to think that thousands of migrants will be making the journey from impoverished villages to fly to Luton. And when you think about it, the crime, the poverty, the basic lack of sanitation, the low education levels and poor health it is depressing. But it's their fault for going to Luton.

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