25/05/2014

A Pain In The...

The latest update from the world of tabloid...

It's the story of a man who went to the doctor with constipation only for them to find the problem, he had a vibrator up there.

I'm shocked that that was the problem and not the treatment. How did he not know? Sometimes I've had my sunglasses on my head and looked round to find my sunglasses before realising, but if those sunglasses were up my bum and vibrating I think I'd workout where they were.

It was still switched on too. Which makes sense because it would've been on when it was put up there and I doubt anyone has the internal dexterity to flick the switch on it while it's in. I know I'm meant to be disgusted by this story but part of me wants to find out where he gets his batteries from. If they were still working when he saw the doc they must be good. Even if he rushed to the doctor within a few hours of it being up there the waiting room wait is normally longer than a Duracel can last.

So that's the story that caught my eye but sadly it's only a short item in the paper, which means they can't cover the more interesting issue of what did he say when the doctor pulled it out.

"Erm, I was doing the vacuuming naked and I slipped... and landed on an upright vibrator... that was switched on.. and I didn't notice. What's that you say Doctor, it's the third case this week!?!"



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