23/06/2014

The 1 Minute Parking Sign

People say that life seems to be getting faster. And then they say something else but I don't know what because I've stopped listening by then, I have things to do and the internet to look at. The internet is great, I was watching a video of a dog on there the other day who did something funny. I didn't get to see what the dog did as the video was 5 minutes long and I got bored after 2. What do these people think I am, made of time?

But even high-speed me was shocked by a new sign that permits 1 minute parking. I'm pretty quick at shopping but I'd struggle to make it to the shops and back. Imagine if you get stuck behind an old person using a self-scan till? You'd get towed away for sure.

As it turns out the 1 minute parking was a typo and the sign was meant to say 1 hour. The Los Angeles Department of Transportation were told about their mistake but said they couldn't correct the error for 2 weeks. But with their track record at getting time periods right that could take anywhere up to an epoch.

1 minute was clearly too short but this has got me thinking that maybe shorter parking periods is what society needs. If you only got 20 minutes no one would hold up a queue having a long chat about the war with the cashier. (The chat is with the cashier, not the war.) People wouldn't walk slowly along the street taking time out of the lives of those walking behind. Parents with loud kids ruining your coffee shop trip? Not with the amount of time it takes to get them in and out of the car they won't be. People would burn more calories as they have to rush which would help with the West's obesity. And texting while walking would die out because you'd have to focus.

So, shorter parking is the secret to making the world a better place. But it doesn't matter because most people stopped reading this after the epoch joke, they don't have all day you know.

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