Is It Because They Is Black

It's difficult to talk about issues to do with animals because people get upset. I did a podcast on the tragedy of the Costa Concordia and no one minded, but make one little joke about eating a dog and the comments you get are obscene. They don't seem to remember, no dogs were harmed in the making of the SomeNews podcasts. Unless there was a dog on the Costa Concordia, but anyway, you have to be careful.

So, where do you stand on cats?

Before anyone writes an angry letter, I know you are not meant to stand on cats. That's mats. I know.

But it's a cliché that some people are cat people while others are dog people. That can't be true or you'd have to have separate vets. You'd go to see a vet who's just saved a dog's life and he'd give your cat the finger.

Of the presumed sub-set of cat people there's an interesting discrimination that's showing. Black cats are less popular than other types of cats. That's right, cat people are racist.

Hundreds of black cats are being abandoned because their owners think black animals don't look as good in selfies. This is a terrifying fact. I don't look good in selfies (check my Instagram for proof), does that mean I'd be in the first of the humans to be abandoned should the time come?

The RSPCA says 70% of cats in its care in Britain are black or black and white. Some rescue centres have reported that people looking for a new cat often ask for a cat of any other colour than black, like the opposite of Henry Ford.

People are terrible. I suppose it's a small blessing that these black cats are being take into care and not gotten rid of in some other way. These colour-prejudice owners could've ended up eating their cats, only they probably Instagram every meal they have and still think the cat wouldn't photograph well.

An RSPCA spokesman commented on the fact that fewer people want to rehome black cats, saying: "There are a number of reasons for this, ranging from the fact that black cats are harder to tell apart than cats with more distinctive markings." Oh, so they all look alike to you?!

So what do we do to sort this? I say to you, it's time for positive discrimination in the cat world. Maybe it's time to bring in a quota system. By 2018 every single thirty-something woman giving up on men should have at least 10% black cats in the house full of felines she's retreating into.

Funding should be made available to promote black cats in Internet videos. They can play the piano on YouTube just as good as cats of other colours. In fact some say more soulfully but that's bordering on stereotyping.

Go on, get a black cat if you're thinking of getting a rescue cat, you won't regret it. Or to put it another way, once you go black...

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