18/08/2014

Julian Assange Coming Out

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has said he'll be leaving the Ecuadorean Embassy in London "soon". So far we don't know what exactly is meant by "soon" but it sounds like the unit of time used by a teen when asked to do something. In related news Julian also said he'd be tidying his room in the embassy and pointed out he didn't ask to be born.

It's hard to see how telling the world that he is soon to be leaving the protection of the embassy is good for him, but maybe he's so addicted to spilling sensitive information that he couldn't help himself. He's like Jim Carey in Liar Liar, even if it screws him over he has to get the truth out there. His next press release will say he sped, he followed too closely, he ran a stop sign, he almost hit a Chevy, he sped some more, he failed to yield at a crosswalk, he changed lanes at the intersection, he changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding!

He said something rather cryptic when he said: "I can confirm that I am leaving the embassy soon, but perhaps not for the reasons that [news media] are saying." So far the news media haven't said it's because a parcel was sent to him but the postman just left a card and Assange has to go to the sorting office, so I'm guessing it's that.

Or maybe he's finally run out of honey and needs to buy more, because that stuff lasts for ages.

Or maybe the people at the Ecuadorean Embassy gave him a shopping list with things like a glass hammer and the bubble for a spirit level on it. Oh, the wags.

When asked to clarify what he meant he refused to elaborate, putting the Ass into Assange. No wonder the people in the embassy gave him that shopping list, they must be sick of him by now.

It will be interesting to see what happens because if Assange leaves the embassy in London he could be deported to Sweden (where he is wanted over sex crimes allegations) or the United States (where he's wanted for leaking secret information). But maybe the reason he's leaving now is because if you're going to be deported from the UK you'll need a passport, and if there's one thing we can't seem to organise at the moment...
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