14/10/2014

Denmark To Ban Puppy Love

Shocking story of the week: "Denmark has vowed to finally ban sex with animals." The shocking part is that it's not illegal there at the moment. Excuse me while I'll nip downstairs to throw out my bacon.

And I'm back. They're banning beast sex because they say the practice is "damaging the country's reputation". It's probably not doing much for the animals either.

Apparently the problem is that because bestiality is illegal pretty much everywhere else in Europe animal fanciers are going to Denmark as sex tourists. You'd think you'd be able to tell when a man and a goat try to check into a hotel as Mr and Mrs Smith.

Agriculture minister Dan Jorgensen said: "I have decided that we should ban sex with animals." Sounds like the fall out from a bad break up. He went on: "This is because it constitutes an attack on the animal, which naturally cannot consent to sex." That's true, they can't say yes. Horses can say neigh and the Danish need to realise neigh means neigh.

A recent opinion poll revealed that 76% of Danes support a ban on animal sex. I think the bigger question is about the 24%. That's nearly 1 in 4 who thinks a little bit of animal sex is fine. If you're reading this in Denmark look around, if you see three people near you who don't look like they fancy animals, it's you.

However, critics have branded the new law unnecessary as existing legislation already protects animals from suffering, pain, distress or lasting harm. And the animals said, "Lasting? Tut. He wishes."

>Read the source story

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