30/08/2015

EdFringe Video Diary 6: Young Audience


As the Edinburgh Fringe comes to an end for another year here's another video diary. There's one last chance to see SomeNews: The Misstakes, on at 7:15pm Sunday at Bar 50. This #EdFringe Video Diary entry number 6 is all about how I tried to get a younger audience in,and I think I did it a little too well.



There's more from Edinburgh on the SomeNews YouTube channel, youtube.com/mrsteveallen and more of what's happening on twitter, twitter.com/mrstevenallen.
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29/08/2015

Celebrity Big Brother - The Start

Ah, Celebrity Big Brother is back again. Just when you had forgotten about it, it pops back up to annoy you in the summer – just like thrush.

This year the newspapers were saying it's “set to be the most X rated ever... it includes three porn stars.”

Don't they make that claim every year? When it started there were no porn stars in it, now we're up to three. By 2019 it'll just be a TV show where porn stars live in a house for a month. In fact, the porn stars would be so used to be on webcams going in the BB house would just mean they could keep their clothes on for longer. Celebrity Big Brother would turn into a TV show where you watch porn stars get dressed. Which is what you can see if you watch porn backwards. (Yes, you're right, I do have too much spare time.)

They always have someone in the house who has done a sex tape. How does that make you a celebrity? When I did it all I got was banned from Curries. Well, I didn't want to have to buy the camera. Anyway, we'll see what happens this year. So far one of the porn stars (Tila Tequila) has been thrown out of the Big Brother house because she once dressed in a Nazi uniform. People were disgusted. And there are unconfirmed reports that Max Mosley has asked for her number.
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EdFringe Video Diary 5: Post Show

As the Edinburgh Fringe run for 2015 moves into its last few days, with the SomeNews: The Misstakes, on at 7:15pm everyday at Bar 50, the #EdFringe Video Diary is back, and this is the fifth instalment. It's a post-show chat with people who had just seen the show.



There's more from Edinburgh on the SomeNews YouTube channel, youtube.com/mrsteveallen and more of what's happening on twitter, twitter.com/mrstevenallen.
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28/08/2015

Ashley Madison's Data Fallout

Ah, Ashley Madison. It sounds like one of those American banks that caused the credit crunch but in reality it's far far worse.

I should explain what the Ashley Madison website is, because there are two types of people, those who don't know what it is and those who pretend they don't.

It's a website that was set up for people to have extra-marital affairs without going to the effort of using Facebook like normal people.

Hackers managed to get user data from the site and that data was dumped online, and being “dumped online” was probably something that happened to a lot of the users recently too.

The info has been downloaded, probably by Jeremy Kyle who now knows his next 6 series are sorted. Some people have said the accounts in their names were set up without their knowledge, some people have denied knowing about it, and in one case a user got his wife to set up her own email server and then wipe all the details – at least I think that explains why Hilary Clinton did what she did.

There were millions of users on this site, showing yet again that as soon as technology comes along we find a way to use it to help us bonk something. If medical nano-bots ever get invented they will mainly be used to help cure the clap.

The news story had some sad angles, there was a man who hit social media when he was filmed telling his GF that she was pregnant, but it turns out he was an Ashley Madison user, so now his GF doesn't know if the baby is hers.

Also, there was sad news when a couple of suicides were linked to the user data leak, which makes the Ashley Madison logo “Life's short. Have an affair.” seem a little ironic.

In another depressing twist the Ashley Madison user data has been analysed and it was discovered that most of the users were men. So only a few were women. They must've been some very busy women.

It was calculated that 95% of the women on the site were fake. And by that I mean they were fake accounts, not just people with hair extensions and nail gels. It was also found that, of the accounts that were made by real woman, most only logged in once.

So in reality Ashley Madison was a website where men who want affairs could chat to other men who want affairs and probably moan about their partners. So wives shouldn't be upset if their husbands were on this website, but local pubs should be furious.



You can see more about Ashley Madison live in Edinburgh for the next few nights in the "SomeNews Extra" shows, 11pm,Bar 50.
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27/08/2015

SomeNews on Fubar in Edinburgh: Show 2 [Listen]

The SomeNews project has a radio show, Mondays on Fubar radio. The live shows aren't on during August because of the Edinburgh Fringe but there are special shows being recorded live in front of an audience. Here's show two - Steve joined by various comedy guests, and it's available as a podcast. Have a listen.




Or Download the mp3.



Don't forget to listen to the show live on Monday's in September (Get details on how to listen to SomeNews on Fubar Radio) (Oh, it's also repeated Wednesdays 10am till 1pm and Saturdays 7am till 10am.)
You can also get the podcasts of Mr Steve N Allen's other radio shows and the Original SomeNews podcasts.
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21/08/2015

EdFringe Video Diary 4: Post Show

As the Edinburgh Fringe run for 2015 continues, with the SomeNews: The Misstakes, on at 7:15pm everyday at Bar 50, the #EdFringe Video Diary is back, and this is the fourth instalment. It's a post-show chat with peoplewho have seen the show.



There's more from Edinburgh on the SomeNews YouTube channel, youtube.com/mrsteveallen and more of what's happening on twitter, twitter.com/mrstevenallen.
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20/08/2015

SomeNews on Fubar in Edinburgh: Show 1 [Listen]

The SomeNews project has a radio show, Mondays on Fubar radio. The live shows aren't on during August because of the Edinburgh Fringe but there are special shows being recorded live in front of an audience. Here's show one - Steve joined by various comedy guests, and it's available as a podcast. Have a listen.




Or Download the mp3.



Show 2 is on Monday 24th at 12:30. If you're in Edinburgh come along and be part of the live audience. Tweet @mrstevenallen to find out how to get in for free.

Don't forget to listen to the show live on Monday's in September (Get details on how to listen to SomeNews on Fubar Radio) (Oh, it's also repeated Wednesdays 10am till 1pm and Saturdays 7am till 10am.)
You can also get the podcasts of Mr Steve N Allen's other radio shows and the Original SomeNews podcasts.
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12/08/2015

The Best Way To Drink Is...

The UK is becoming more like mainland Europe all the time. We drink coffee, sit outside to eat and often find ourselves surrounded by people who don't speak English. It saves us a lot of hassle, we don't have to travel to get that holiday vibe. But there's another way in which we're becoming European.

According to a new study the most popular way to drink beer in the UK is from a half-pint glass.

I like the half-pint. I like that I can hold it and pretend I'm a giant drinking pints. It's good that you can neck the whole drink, feel like such a party animal, yet still be thirsty after.

But in some ways I think we are missing some of our traditions. Seeing someone drink a yard of ale used to be an event in a local pub. Seeing someone drink 5 inches of ale is way less impressive.

It's 34% of Brits that drink from a half pint glass compared with only a quarter who use a pint glass. So that's 59% of the population who, if they go out together, will end up arguing about doing rounds.

>Read the source story

P.S. If you're up in Edinburgh see the SomeNews show live Aug 6th to 30th.
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11/08/2015

Tech vs Children

One in three children think their parents waste too much time using gadgets.

This is the result of the latest survey of 7 to 11-year-olds, it also found half believe their mums or dads spend more time watching TV than they do talking to them.

Cue people getting on soap boxes about how we let technology rule our lives, but there could be another truth to this. If one in three children think their parents use gadgets too much that means one out of three children is less fun than an iPad.

In the olden days people would spend time with their children reading to them, playing with them, but back in those days we had 4 TV channels and games consoles you could play Pong on. It was easy for children to be more fun than that. Now we have streaming TV services and almost life-like gaming. Kids, you need to raise your game.

Modern day entertainment is hard to compete with. If you're binge watching a TV show and can't wait to see what happens in the next episode you can go right ahead and watch it. If you have a two-year-old child you have to wait a whole year to find out what it's like as a three-year-old. Boring!

Although, if half of children think their parents watch too much TV that means half don't. What's wrong with these people? Haven't they heard of Game of Thrones?

Some people, eh?



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09/08/2015

EdFringe Video Diary 3: The Hills

As the Edinburgh Fringe run for 2015 continues, with the SomeNews: The Misstakes, on at 7:15pm everyday at Bar 50, the #EdFringe Video Diary is back, and this is the third instalment. Edinburgh is hilly. That is all.



There's more from Edinburgh on the SomeNews YouTube channel, youtube.com/mrsteveallen and more of what's happening on twitter, twitter.com/mrstevenallen.
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07/08/2015

Police 'Ignore' Odd-Numbered Houses

The Leicestershire police force came up with an interesting way to deal with cuts. Because they say their officers are being stretched too far they had a plan to lighten the workload – they would only attend attempted burglaries at houses with an even street number.

At first glance you think it would halve the work but actually it will probably reduce it more. If you were a burglar and you'd heard that story you'd focus more of your efforts on the odd-numbered houses.

In fact if I lived in a house with an even number I'd be temped to nick stuff from my neighbours. What are they going to do? If they call the police they won't pay me a visit. And if my neighbours nick their stuff back I'll call the cops and get them arrested.

Leicestershire Police said the pilot scheme had had no adverse effect on public satisfaction or crime rates. Before we believe that can we just check that they weren't only surveying people who live in even-numbered houses, because they've got form.

Apparently this success could mean the scheme may be rolled out throughout the East Midlands. You know it won't stop there. Before long they will have this system in place across the whole UK, and then they'll still complain about funds, so they'll change it so only crimes in houses with a prime number will be investigated.

“That's not fair,” we'll all say.
“Yes it is,” the police spokesperson will answer, “There are an infinite number of prime numbers.”

I can see where this is heading, and that's why I have applied to change the number of my house to the square root of minus 1.

>Read the source story
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06/08/2015

EdFringe Video Diary 2: The Flyering

As the Edinburgh Fringe run for 2015 continues, with the SomeNews: The Misstakes, on at 7:15pm everyday at Bar 50, the #EdFringe Video Diary is back, and this is the second instalment all about the first flyer. The is a milestone of any Edinburgh run and this one has been captured on film. Have a look.



There's more from Edinburgh on the SomeNews YouTube channel, youtube.com/mrsteveallen and more of what's happening on twitter, twitter.com/mrstevenallen.
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04/08/2015

Man Sues Bride For Being Ugly

Ladies, ever thought you're dating a rude, inconsiderate ass? Well, in the way your parents just to try to get you to enjoy the bad food they cooked by telling you about people starving in Africa, get ready to love you man just that little bit more.

An Algerian groom took his bride to court accusing her of not looking as pretty as before the wedding. He claimed that he was tricked into marrying her by her use of make-up. Wow. You wait till he finds out about that Wonder Bra.

He's seeking $20,000 damages. He thinks he deserves money for that? She should counter-sue claiming he never let her know he was a total dick before the wedding, and go for $40,000.

Firstly, who's to say someone is ugly? Secondly, sleeping with an ugly person doesn't earn you $20,000. It earns you £200, as we now know from the Lord Sewel story.

The groom in this case said he was shocked when he got up the morning after his wedding and found that his wife looked so different, that he could not recognise her. *Insert old school joke about that normally taking a few years*

Newspapers in the North African Arab country said the groom swore in court that he even mistook his wife for a “thief who came to steal his apartment".

And this is the only part of the story where we can think a little more of the man. He's being a total knob and is acting in a rude and bullying way. But at least when he thought his other half was a burglar he didn't shoot her in the toilet.

>Read the source story

P.S. If you're up in Edinburgh see the SomeNews show live Aug 6th to 30th.
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EdFringe Video Diary: Back For 2015!

here we go again. Back in Edinburgh for 2015 with a new show, it's SomeNews: The Misstakes, on at 7:15pm everyday at Bar 50.

Just like in past years I will be trying to do some video diaries of my time here. It'll be a diary of the ups and downs of a man trying to tell jokes to people - it always sounds easier than it turns out to be.

Here's part 1, the journey up, pausing at the Durham services.



There's more from Edinburgh on the SomeNews YouTube channel, youtube.com/mrsteveallen and more of what's happening on twitter, twitter.com/mrstevenallen.
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03/08/2015

Nude Cyclist Photographed

I worry about the future of cycling. I know the death rates for the peddle-powered in London are too high, but that's not what I'm talking about. I know the air conditions in many nations make cycling unhealthy, but that's not the topic here today either. I'm talking about nudity.

It seems like every time cycling is in the news lately it's because of the cyclists getting their kit off. There have been a series of nude bike rides across the UK, which show both commitment to a cause and a lack of thinking about how saddles work.

There was one in Kent where a man was spoken to by the police for enjoying it too much. In the newspapers people organising the nude bike ride also frowned upon this man, so the message because “we should be free to go naked wherever we want, the human body is a beautiful thing... unless it's a turned on man, in which case it's hideous.”

And now more bare-arsed cycling has hit the news. A naked cyclist spotted pedalling down country lane by stunned photographer, and seeing as he had his camera with him, yep, he took a pic.

It's an odd one because I'm not really in favour of people riding down the lanes I might be on with their saggy wedding parts hanging out but at the same time I think taking a picture of a person's nude body without their permission might be a bigger crime.

I can hear the disagreement now.

PERSON: “But it was in a public place.”
ME: “So you think you can photograph anything if it's out in public?”
PERSON: “Yeah.”
ME: “So if I took pictures of all the breastfeeding mothers I could spot that would be OK?”
PERSON: “Don't be ridiculous, that would be out of order. Breastfeeding is perfectly natural, why would you do a thing like that?”
ME: “I wouldn't, I was making a point.”
PERSON: “I think women are under too much pressure to breastfeed.”
ME: “We've gone off topic.”
PERSON: “Oh, so you don't even want to talk about it. You prude.”
ME: “I'm a prude? You're the one stopping me from making a Pinterest of all the pics I'd take.”

Yeah, I get into a lot of arguments with people who can't hold two points in their heads at once.

The picture in the news (no, I'm not showing it here, anymore than I would the Jennifer Lawrence hacked nude selfies) was taken on a country lane close to Chatsworth House, in the Peak District, at 6am on a Sunday.

If I were the subject in that snap I'd either complain that it was reproduced in newspapers or, more likely, I'd complain that the time and place wasn't given prominent placement near the pic. That would be quite a cold morning. And that context matters.

>Read the source story
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News500 - Lord Sewel, Piss thrown at Froome and a dead Panda [Video]

Here's another News500, a topical comedy show on the web. This time we hear about the House of Lords member who had a little too much fun, a man on a bike who was weed at and a dead panda. Ah.



See the previous episodes

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02/08/2015

[Radio Podcast] How's It Going?

In the last show before the big Edinburgh break, we found a news story that said you shouldn't try too hard at work, so we didn't, and we phoned-in the the phone in "How's it going?"

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 2nd of August 2015.)




Download the mp3 or ogg.

     Subscribe with iTunes Subscribe via RSS feed | Now on Stitcher |

Hear the show live next week, 7am till midday, Sunday. Get the info on how to listen here. And every Monday morning you can hear the SomeNews show on Fubar Radio.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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News500 - Trump on Mexicans, Bankrupt 50 Cent and dodgy implants [Video]

Here's another News500, a topical comedy show on the web. This time we hear about the US presidential election latest, how a rapper ran out of bling and trouble with implants.



See the previous episodes

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