24/04/2016

Rat Bites Man (On Bum)

Social media is filled with a lot of content these days and do you know what percentage of those tweets and posts are done on the toilet? Of course you don't. Who the hell would? But if I'd have picked a high number there you wouldn't have been shocked.

With the loo being an important place for content creation in this post-Web 2.0 world I think it's time we upped our lavatory security. I say this after reading of a man in Ireland who went to the loo and was bitten on the bum by a rat.

So many thoughts must go through your head when that happens. “Ouch!” “I don't remember eating that!” “How did Luis Suarez get down there?”

A local councillor was in the newspapers telling of an elderly man who went to him to complain about the incident. There had been some flooding and it's thought the rat got into the sewer through a broken section. What kind of an animal bites someone's ass? The kind that chooses to go into a sewer, I guess, but I didn't realise rats would go for your bum. They certainly never showed it on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The councillor said: “I would advise homeowners to keep their toilet seats down when not in use, and to watch their posteriors.” I don't think he means literally, or a few mirrors are going to need steam cleaning. I don't think it's enough. I'm all for personal responsibility, and I get that “watch your ass” is always good advice, but I think we should be safe to sit on the bog without fear of something trying to eat you whole.

The lav used to be the one place you could relax. A place where you get to lock the door and let the world wait for a while. Sure, people could still try and ask you something through the door but shouting back, “I'm on the loo,” was taken as a good enough answer.

The council has considered flushing rat poison through the water system, but there are fears that it could contaminate water. Do it. It's worth the risk. No one wants a rat trying to run up their drain pipe. I may have a slight fear of rats but till this problem goes away I've worked out the only way I can feel safe on the loo. It's to use one of these.


>Read the source story



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