29/07/2016

[Newspaper Column] Negative Interest

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


On what can be a frivolous radio show sometimes, this week we were talking about macro economics. A bank has said it may have to bring in negative interest rates and it took us a whole show to get our heads round what that would be like.

The old model of banking was simple; we would deposit our money, they'd use it to make more money, and we'd get a slice of the action. That kick-back was called interest.

That could be flipped on its head. With negative interest we would put our money in the bank and the bank would take a bit for itself, like a tip. If I went to a restaurant where they only put one chef on at peak times and made me queue for most of my lunch hour I don't think I'd tip.

Unsurprisingly most callers didn't like the idea of something that used to earn you money now costing you, and that could be the start of things to come. If the banks pull this off how long till we have employers charging you to go on a zero hours contract? I'd hate that as I am no good at making sportswear.

If you get three matching pictures on a scratchcard you'll have to give them your wallet. If you take a family heirloom to the Antiques Roadshow and Fiona Bruce will follow you home and mug you on your doorstep.

Just when I was about to write an angry letter to the banks trying to give them a guilt trip about how we bailed them out when one caller pointed something out. If interest rates are negative would that mean they'd pay me for being overdrawn? Finally, there's a way to make money when you do a frivolous radio show for a living.

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28/07/2016

Toothbrush on Holiday [Podcast]

One in 4 people do not take a toothbrush with them on holiday because they are dirty gits. We look at the holiday vibe.

And Larry gives us an entertainment news update.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 25th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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24/07/2016

[Newspaper Column] Ageism

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.



You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


If you ever need to fill a radio show look for a survey. The news has loads of such statistical fun and most of it is harmless data about our favourite pasta or how many people have their toilet roll with the side you pull nearest the wall verses how many people have it the right way.

One piece of research this week was very offensive. A survey came out stating the average age Brits think you're too old to do certain things in life.

The survey said women are too old to wear mini-skirts when they reach the age of 39. It's like the ageist version of Family Fortunes. This survey of age discrimination also said you should stop wearing leggings by the age of 43 and skinny jeans at 47. By the age of 50 you might as well join a nudist camp as everyone seems to have an issues with anything you wear. This is one step towards living in Logan's Run.

Some of the results are harder to dispute. They say you shouldn't use text speak after the age of 36 and I agree. I also think you shouldn't use it under 36 too.

The survey says you shouldn't get a get a tattoo after the age of 38. Why? The EU remainers claimed that older people didn't have as much at stake in the future because of their age, surely that same logic means you getting a tattoo when you're older is less of a big deal. When I'm 90 I may get that neck tattoo I've always wanted. It won't be for that long and if I have to go for a job interview, because no one will retire by then, I can hide it under some wrinkles.

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22/07/2016

Local Paper Review - 22-07-16

As part of the Afternoon Show, we're looking into the content of some of the local papers in the Essex area. This week we mention the doggy e-fits to catch dogs that poop in parks, an odd place for a garden in Ilford and Pokemon.

Edited down from the live radio broadcast into a podcast, you can listen back below.

There will be another episode broadcast on Friday at 2pm, and you can listen live here.



You can also download the mp3 here or subscribe to the RSS feed here. And it's now on iTunes.
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19/07/2016

Trump Plagiarism & More [Podcast]

Another one of those shows that ended up being filled some with random things, but we certainly cover the plagiarism of speeches and Larry has news of Taylor Swift.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Tuesday 19th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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17/07/2016

[Newspaper Column] Political Drama

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


It’s been anything but. When news moves as fast as it has this week, it makes it hard to prepare for a radio show.

I spent some time at the start of the week writing jokes about how Andrea Leadsom would have done well in Ancient Egypt because all their leaders were mummies, but before I could use them she’d pulled out of the race.

The next thing I knew Theresa May was saying how honoured she was to be chosen by the Conservative Party to be their leader. I thought to myself, “You say chosen but you were the only one left. They chose you in the same way I used to get chosen for sport at school.”

I presumed I had ages to work on Theresa May material, after all we were told we’d have a new PM by September, but David Cameron said it would all be over by Wednesday.

He couldn’t wait to get out of there. We found out the removals team he used ordered more than 300 boxes for all of his belongings. Still, it’s easier to move him than Jeremy Corbyn.

In this ever-changing political world, I’m glad one thing will stay the same – Larry the Downing Street cat won’t be leaving when the Camerons go. The tabby cat, from London’s Battersea Cats and Dogs Home, was brought into Downing Street in 2011, tasked with tackling a rat problem. Some thought he’d have to step down for not dealing with Michael Gove.

It’s all been too much drama. After a week like that I want to sit down, relax and watch something far less exciting. I’ll watch France v Portugal again.

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12/07/2016

Cameron and Animals [Podcast]

David Cameron singing, a lynx on the run and llamas trying to stop the Tour de France. What is going on in the world? We do not find out in this podcast.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Tuesday 12th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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11/07/2016

Blue and Undressed [Podcast]

Some people up in Hull stripped off and were painted blue. Life is odd in the north. But it kicked off a radio show where we asked about places you have been without clothes and places you have been blue.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 11th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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08/07/2016

Local Paper Review - 08-07-16

As part of the Afternoon Show, we're looking into the content of some of the local papers in the Essex area. This week we mention the Chilcot report, the problems with feeding chips to geese and a rename to a local service.

Edited down from the live radio broadcast into a podcast, you can listen back below.

There will be another episode broadcast on Friday at 2pm, and you can listen live here.



You can also download the mp3 here or subscribe to the RSS feed here. And it's now on iTunes.
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[Newspaper Column] Steve Allen Sausage

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


There are many milestones in a man's life. I remember my first kiss, my first drink, my first iPhone. That was a busy day.

As you get older you seem to pass fewer milestones. I swear they're putting life's milestones further apart. I refused to admit I'm slowing down, in the same way I am convinced that my washing machine has been shrinking my jeans. It's jealous when it sees me using the cooker so much.

This week I passed a milestone I never thought I'd get to. I had a sausage named after me. As part of my afternoon show we had the guys in from Hawkins and Sons, the butchers in the Romford Shopping Hall. On sale for this week you can actually buy the Steve Allen Sausage.

It is an honour to be represented in meat form but it's hard to be taken seriously. While talking about my sausage or attempting to get people to try a nibble I have been met with nothing but a wall of, “Ooh er Missus,” or, “that's what she said.”

This is a serious issue for me. It's not everyday you get to launch your own meat product on an unsuspecting public but people keep laughing. I now have sympathy for whoever invented meatballs. And as for Mr Brain, when he invented his famous dish he must've suffered the same barrage of silly jokes. My heart goes out to him. Which might be one of his ingredients.

I ask you to maintain a sense of decorum as I say that the Steve Allen sausage is available this week in Romford from Hawkins and Sons. Get some and tweet me what you think of it. And if you can do that without making a joke you've passed a very big milestone indeed.


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07/07/2016

Rio Olympic Update

Things are hotting up for the Rio Olympics. All the preparation work is well underway. Politicians are being paid off, mosquitoes are being asked to stay away from the lovely spending tourists, and now this...

Two German TV teams had their equipment stolen in Rio de Janeiro’s city centre.

Can I just say, it's a brave thief that tries to nick something in a city that is going to be filled with people who can run very fast.

Judo is an Olympic sport. Rio based pick-pockets are risking getting flung into their nearest pond whenever they go to work. And you do not want to be in a pond in Rio. That's where the mosquitoes hang out.

And even if they can't out run you or out Judo you, if you pick-pocket a javelin thrower, you'd better make sure you nick their javelin too, or you'll be wearing it through your torso.

A truck carrying two containers was heading to the Olympic Park when armed men intercepted it and held the driver hostage.

If anyone tries to sell you a truck load of TV equipment it might be a bit dodgy.

If they get caught, in related news...

“Brazilian company contractor that used to supply to ankle bracelets for those under house arrest has suspended its services due to non-payment.”

Brilliant. Of course you wouldn't pay. What's the worst that's going to happen? They take you to court, put you under house arrest? They've just stopped supplying the ankle bracelets!
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06/07/2016

The Steve Allen Sausage [Podcast]

There is officially a Steve Allen sausage that you can get your hands on. It has a little seasoning and a nice amount of meat. Here's how it all happened.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Wednesday 6th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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[Newspaper Column] Bottomless News Pit

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


The problem with doing a lot of radio is that you have to read a lot of news. News is non-stop these days and it doesn't matter how much you read you're no nearer finishing it. Reading Harry Potter may take ages, and while you're doing it you look odd on public transport, but at some point you'll finish it. News is a bottomless pit.

I worry that this bottomless pit is turning into that maths guy from Beautiful Mind because I have started to see patterns emerging from the news.

Think of David Cameron and Roy Hodgson. It seems there's a pattern of crashing out of Europe and having to resign. I'm no conspiracy theorist but if I were Graham Norton I wouldn't book too much work in after the next song contest he hosts.

In football the ball is often referred to as a pig skin but I can't find a way of linking that into the other story.

There's also a pattern that happens after a referendum. From the Scottish independence one to the EU one it seems that whoever loses proudly puts there percentage on their Twitter profiles. There are Scottish people who proclaimed “We are the 45” and now people saying “We are the 48”. That's the problem with a referendum, anything under 50 is just underlining that you lost.

Some people want a second referendum. I'm uncomfortable with doing something over and over again till you get the result you want. That's why we have bad drivers out there who passed on their 37th attempt.

Sometimes, the matter at hand require action though, so I have started a petition to have the whole thing rerun. I say we demand that we get to play Iceland again. Surely we can't be that bad twice.

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04/07/2016

Let's Get The Show Started [Podcast]

The podcasts are back. In the show I have a story about a woman who walked into a shop, and we never get to hear it. We certainly try out best to have a show though.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 4th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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Local Paper Review - 10-06-16

As part of the Afternoon Show, we're looking into the content of some of the local papers in the Essex area. This week we mention the EU referendum, the point of view people have on migrants and is it right for a school to let its pupils watch football?

Edited down from the live radio broadcast into a podcast, you can listen back below.

There will be another episode broadcast on Friday at 2pm, and you can listen live here.



You can also download the mp3 here or subscribe to the RSS feed here. And it's now on iTunes.
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