06/07/2016

[Newspaper Column] Bottomless News Pit

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


The problem with doing a lot of radio is that you have to read a lot of news. News is non-stop these days and it doesn't matter how much you read you're no nearer finishing it. Reading Harry Potter may take ages, and while you're doing it you look odd on public transport, but at some point you'll finish it. News is a bottomless pit.

I worry that this bottomless pit is turning into that maths guy from Beautiful Mind because I have started to see patterns emerging from the news.

Think of David Cameron and Roy Hodgson. It seems there's a pattern of crashing out of Europe and having to resign. I'm no conspiracy theorist but if I were Graham Norton I wouldn't book too much work in after the next song contest he hosts.

In football the ball is often referred to as a pig skin but I can't find a way of linking that into the other story.

There's also a pattern that happens after a referendum. From the Scottish independence one to the EU one it seems that whoever loses proudly puts there percentage on their Twitter profiles. There are Scottish people who proclaimed “We are the 45” and now people saying “We are the 48”. That's the problem with a referendum, anything under 50 is just underlining that you lost.

Some people want a second referendum. I'm uncomfortable with doing something over and over again till you get the result you want. That's why we have bad drivers out there who passed on their 37th attempt.

Sometimes, the matter at hand require action though, so I have started a petition to have the whole thing rerun. I say we demand that we get to play Iceland again. Surely we can't be that bad twice.

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