Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.
You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.
I've had another week of watching the Olympics. Normally the spectacle of these athletes at the peak of human fitness is enough to make you feel bad about yourself, as you put another pork pie in your mouth and get tired from the chewing.
Mo Farrah fell in the 10,000m and went on to win. He had a lie down in the race and still was the fastest man around.
This year there's a whole new way these Olympians can make us feel bad about our lives, the Olympic proposal. It keeps happening, someone wins a medal and their other half pops the question. To the single people who can't motivate themselves to go to the gym this really is a double whammy.
Take heart, all may not be as romantic as it seems. There's a chance the proposers are doing it at Rio 2016 because it saves them the hassle of arranging something special. Let the Brazilian tax payer pick up the tab.
He Zi from China was proposed too after she came second and that's a bit rude. It's like her other half is saying, “Nevermind the silver, I'll give you a bit of gold, here.”
If someone is proposed to on the podium they have to say yes whether they want to or not. No one wants to be remember as the person who ran 400 metres, heard their partner pop the question and then ran away some more.
I worry someone may have spent years training only to realise this is the year of the podium proposal and aims for fourth place to avoid the awkward moment.
It sounds like a relationship nightmare, so for the sake of your own sanity the best thing to do is stay home, not exercise too hard and pop another pork pie in.