31/01/2017

SomeNews v3.0 - ep7 - Yet More Trump and Tasers

SomeNews podcast

It's the new SomeNews Podcast.

In the all new v3.0 of the SomeNews podcast Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy chat through the news and bring you a handy digest of the latest. This time we look at Trump's travel ban, the time for a drink now that January has ended and a death wish tasering.





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21/01/2017

The Cost of the Office

January is a time when you may need a little help with the bank balance, you haven't been paid all year. So you'll be pleased to know this week I have a money-saving tip for you.

New research has shown that working in an office costs us all more than £1,000 a year in collections. Across a working life that's around £40,000, enough for a deposit on a house, or if you moved to the North, the whole street.

They money goes on things like whip-rounds. Someone will come round with a card for someone's birthday. As part of my job involves stand-up comedy they expect I'll write something funny in the card. I can't handle that pressure, put in extra money instead and realise that's two northern streets I could've bought.

Someone will be cycling to Lands' End for some good cause, so that's extra money. And, as I have learned, if you offer to pay more if they do it as a one-way trip, they get all moody.

The tea collection and the biscuit fund can be annoying but at least you get tea and biscuits out of it. The collections for someone's wedding cost us on average £47.04 and they don't like it if you invite yourself along.

£43.92 goes on collections for new babies and that's a double hit because then you know at some point a day's work will be interrupted by someone bringing their newborn in.

We spend £49.68 on "comfort items" including antibacterial wipes, which we have to as people keep bringing their snotting babies near our desks.

So, if you want to save money this year, quit your job, and you'll save around £1,000.

Yes, you will also lose your salary but think of the extra money you'll get in your leaving do whip-round.

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Winter vs Summer [Podcast]

In this cover show we talk about the big battle, winter vs summer, we do yoga live on radio and we get entertainment news.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Thursday 12th of January 2017.)




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18/01/2017

Trump and Adverts [Podcast]

In this cover show we talk about what else the Donald Trump scandal would have been about, we look at the cartoons you like and the adverts you hate.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Wednesday 11th of January 2017.)




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Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
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And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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[Newspaper Column] Bins and Queues

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. And now you can find it in the Ilford Recorder too. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


It doesn't take much to get a radio phone-in to talk about immigration. Whatever the topic, from TV shows to the price of fruit, someone will want to move the debate onto migration.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it. This week Dame Louise Casey was speaking to MPs on the Communities and Local Government select committee about integration. She said people moving to the UK should be taught how to put the bins out and queue. Some have been afraid to comment on this for fear of being called politically incorrect.

Not me. Surely teaching people about bin days can only be a good thing. With certain colour bins going on on certain days with certain types of rubbish you need a PhD to understand the rules. Do you remember a few years ago the public anger at the woman who put a cat in a wheelie bin? Half of it was sympathy for the poor cat but the rest was annoyance that she didn't have to spend an hour working out which bin to use.

Around Christmas bin days are harder to get right than the lottery. I wait till enough of my neighbours have put their bins out and copy them. In an area of high immigration where no one understands the bins no one will go first. Anarchy.

And queuing shouldn't only be included in the UK induction course, we should be teaching it at school. Not just the basics, A-level queuing like the queue for a cash point where you have a leave a gap for people to pass.

But if you really want lessons on how to blend in, they should teach you how to call a radio phone-in and make any topic a rant about what you want to talk about.

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13/01/2017

Animals and Lasagna [Podcast]

In this cover show we talk about the meats in your lasagna, we talk about the mind of animal you would be if you were to be one and we also talk about wrinkle creak.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Tuesday 10th of January 2017.)




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Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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11/01/2017

SomeNews v3.0 - ep6 - Trump's Golden Age and Pay Caps

SomeNews podcast

It's the new SomeNews Podcast.

In the all new v3.0 of the SomeNews podcast Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy chat through the news and bring you a handy digest of the latest. This time we look at the latest Donald Trump scandal, Fat Cat Wednesday and we find out how to make people at work finally shut up.





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| Download any episode from the complete SomeNews archive | Feeding BritCaster.com |

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10/01/2017

[Newspaper Column] 2017

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. And now you can find it in the Ilford Recorder too. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


It’s time for my predictions for 2017.

2016 wasn’t the easiest of years. We lost a lot of loved celebrities, especially towards the end. I can’t be the only person who has a news alert of their smartphone that tells you when a big news story breaks and in December they always seemed to be about the passing of a famous person. It got to the point where if I phone bleeped I presumed it wasn’t a text for me, it was some sad celebrity news. I’m not that popular and 2016 was that bad.

The good thing about following a bad year is that statistically things should get better. This year my prediction is more certainty. Last year we didn’t know who would be president in America, we didn’t know which way Brexit would go, we had no idea that Brangelina were on rocky ground and votes to name that research vessel Boaty McBoatface were still wide open.

2017 is already a done deal. We know that Donald Trump will get his inauguration soon. They don’t call it a crowning over there, which is good because no headgear would stay on that trained mink he has resting on his head.

We know that 2017 will include a lot of people still going on about Brexit, but like the sound of a vacuum cleaner it will eventually seem like soothing white noise.

And the remaining parts of Brangelina will be on the market again. I’m already keeping an eye on Tinder.

The only difference we have to look forward to in 2017 is the new £1 coin. It’s a 12-sided shape, a dodecagon. It basically looks like they have trimmed the current coin, which given the weaker pound seems about right.
In the coming year that’s the kind of change I’m hoping to get a lot of.

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Office Extortion [Podcast]

In this cover show we talk about the cost of working in an office, it was cheat day (sexually, not the food one) and the Tube Strike was causing problems and some mystery.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 9th of January 2017.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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