Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. And now you can find it in the Ilford Recorder too. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.
You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.
It doesn't take much to get a radio phone-in to talk about immigration. Whatever the topic, from TV shows to the price of fruit, someone will want to move the debate onto migration.
That doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it. This week Dame Louise Casey was speaking to MPs on the Communities and Local Government select committee about integration. She said people moving to the UK should be taught how to put the bins out and queue. Some have been afraid to comment on this for fear of being called politically incorrect.
Not me. Surely teaching people about bin days can only be a good thing. With certain colour bins going on on certain days with certain types of rubbish you need a PhD to understand the rules. Do you remember a few years ago the public anger at the woman who put a cat in a wheelie bin? Half of it was sympathy for the poor cat but the rest was annoyance that she didn't have to spend an hour working out which bin to use.
Around Christmas bin days are harder to get right than the lottery. I wait till enough of my neighbours have put their bins out and copy them. In an area of high immigration where no one understands the bins no one will go first. Anarchy.
And queuing shouldn't only be included in the UK induction course, we should be teaching it at school. Not just the basics, A-level queuing like the queue for a cash point where you have a leave a gap for people to pass.
But if you really want lessons on how to blend in, they should teach you how to call a radio phone-in and make any topic a rant about what you want to talk about.