07/01/2019

Snowflake Army

With some of the bizarre things that happen in the news these days you hear a lot of people say, "You couldn't make it up."

I like those news stories. They save me going to the effort of making it up.

That's why I like the snowflake army story. A recruitment campaign took the famous Lord Kitchener posters that say, “Your country needs you!”

In the new version they said, “Snowflakes. Your army needs you.”

If you don’t know, “snowflake” is a term used to describe someone who is easily offended by something. Or “everyone,” as it seems is the case these days.

Is it a good idea to try to recruit snowflakes to the army? You have to do some pretty tough things in the forces and you can't no-platform the enemy because they used the wrong pronoun for you or clapped too loudly at something.

It wasn't just snowflakes. The ads also said, "Phone zombies, the army needs you." I've seen phone zombies walk right into lamp posts so they'd been less good at urban warfare.

One ad said, "Binge gamers, your arm needs you." They would be very handy if the insurgents are throwing a lot of candy at you and you need someone to crush it.

The twist is that the soldier photographed on the snowflake advert claims he didn’t realise he’d be called a snowflake when he agreed to be in the ad.

It was claimed he complained and threatened to leave the army over it.

You're on a sticky-wicket there. If you get upset when someone calls you a snowflake, you're kind of proving them right.

I realise this is a bit of a controversial issue, so if you have been offended by any of my jokes about snowflakes... well, you should be pretty used to it by now.

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