Arnie's Love Child

Arnie's Love ChildToday there was a shock in the Mirror. (That sounds like I found I had a spot or something.) They go with...

"Arnie: I Have Got A Secret Lovechild"

Oh, come on. How secret can that be? Did you ever see Boris Becker's love child? Here's a picture...

That's not a case where you need Jeremy Kyle and those all important DNA results. I can't help thinking the same would happen with Arnie. He'd be saying, "Hey, that kid is not mine," as he points to a child with a massive head, bench-pressing a Fisher Price truck.

The mother of the Sperminator's lovechild has been named as 50-year-old Mildred Baena, who used to be Arnie's housekeeper.

Wow. They clearly provide quite a service in America. I have a cleaner who won't even fold my clean pants.

Arnie's wife Maria Shriver last night broke her silence and told of her heartbreak over the baby bombshell. She said in the paper: "This is a painful and heartbreaking time. As a mother, my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment."

I bet Arnie is really upset about what he's lost. His wife just said she will have no further comment. Oh, timing, eh?

>Read the source story
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