Due to a sudden processing backlog at recycling plants, thousands of unwanted fridges and freezers have ended up stacked together in a massive white pile at a former recycling site outside Norwich. It is being described as a temporary storage issue. In Britain, "temporary" usually means it will still be there when archeologists dig up our civilisation in the year 4000 and conclude we worshipped a deity named Beko.
It is an extraordinary monument to human inconvenience. A mountain made entirely of appliances that all used to contain three dead tomatoes, half a bottle of stale salad cream, and an old tub of margarine containing mystery soup. If you stood on top of it with a pair of binoculars, you probably would not be able to see the sea, but you would be able to spot at least five hundred missing ice scrapers.
The sheer scale of it is breathtaking. It is essentially our version of Mount Rushmore, only instead of historic presidents carved into granite, we have four storeys of rusty frost-free drawers and broken door seals. You could try packing your own picnic in a portable cool box, but even that feels like a risk when the entire county is slowly turning into a giant appliance graveyard.
Naturally, officials have assured everyone that the situation is being closely monitored. That is always comforting. Monitoring a mountain of three thousand fridges sounds like a very peaceful job, mostly consisting of standing nearby with a clipboard to make sure none of them suddenly decide to defrost. If nothing else, it proves that no matter how advanced our society becomes, our ultimate destiny is always to be defeated by basic kitchen logistics.
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