"COMMUTERS were exposed to a sickening London Tube journey when a man was started pleasuring himself in full view of passengers."
Anyone who uses the Tube must read that and think, "How is he getting enough room to be moving his arm like that? Whenever I'm on there it's so packed I have to stick the pen up my nose to do the Evening Standard su doku."
"CCTV of the man was released by the British Transport Police."
Cheers. I've already got the Internet, I could've found that kind of material if I wanted it.
"Police are investigating the obscene incident in which they described a man 'touching himself inappropriately' on the last carriage of the Northern Line train."
Pervert! The Northern Line? Surely the right line for that is the Metropolitan Line.
"He is believed to have embarked on the one-minute journey between Embankment and Waterloo."
But the best line from the story is this...
"Following an appeal British Transport Police said a man had come forward."
I didn't think you could do it in any other direction.
>Read the source story