31/08/2023

Body Part Art

In art news: An artist has created an exhibition using her own fingernails, blood and saliva. Look, we’ve all been struck by that mood where we can’t be arsed to go to Hobbycraft, but Christ!

It’s Pamela Schilderman who spent two years working on Ecology Now, which is the exhibit that she really put herself into. It’s a comment of the concept of humans being the height of evolution. Although you could also spin it as a comment on the cost of living crisis and a top tip on how to save money on pencils and paint.

We’re all lucky she’s not going through her brown period.

Of all of the works I feel that the one with her fingernails is the most impressive. We can all churn out a pint of blood (the equivalent to an armful in old measures, you’ll remember) and if you want to produce a lot of saliva you can train yourself with a bell (which is an even more dated cultural reference).

Getting a lot of fingernails takes dedication. Sure, you can take a multivitamin to help but it’s still a long-term project.

Give it a few weeks and this will turn into one of those stories when a cleaner saw some muck, cleared it up, and accidentally threw away a work of art.

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15/08/2023

So... It's An Inkjet?

Scientists have done it again. They have achieved a breakthrough that no one asked for but that didn’t stop them. We now have the technology to 3D-print vegan squid rings.

I suppose it is impressive that we can eat things we have printed. You were always able to do this if you really wanted to but it would have tasted a bit like paper.

While this is good news for a few nerds and probably great news for some real squid who will be happy to be replaced by the printed variety, this probably won’t affect many of us.

It’s actually a protein concoction that’s made from algae and beans or something that’s very Holland and Barrett, but they claim it tastes like squid.

The problem with this claim is that squid doesn’t really taste of anything, so it’s easy to copy. In a blind taste test it’s hard to tell squid rings from the little beige elastic bands that postmen leave everywhere. It’s basically the salt that saves them.

I’m still wary of trying 3D-printed food. I’m no Luddite but I know what it’s like try to print with my normal 2D laserjet. I’m worried that I’ll die of hunger while still trying to get the WiFi to connect.

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