Why Labour Won't Fix Social Funding

The Health Secretary Wes Streeting has announced a new report will look into the funding of social care in the UK. Many would say, “It’s about time too.”

If you’re in a massive rush you could simply look at all the other plans there have been on the funding of social care. For decades it’s been the topic that politicians have said has to be fixed urgently.

The new report won’t be ready till 2028, which will be just in time for a new General Election and therefore all of the political mud slinging that will stop any bold plans being enacted. But again, if you think waiting till 2028 is a problem, you could say that we have waited well since 1997, so almost half a decade longer won’t make much difference.

The new independent commission will be led by Baroness Casey, who has been called in several interviews “a do-er”. I suppose that is in contrast so someone who is “a thinker”, so now we’re worried.

There is an interim stage of the report that will come out mid-2026. It’s good to get some details at that stage but it still means politicians can say, “well, we can’t comment now, as we await the full report before taking actions.”

Get more on this issue in Steve N Allen’s Look Back at Social Care Funding in the video “Why they won’t fix social care.”

» Read the source story

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Guess Who Is Banning Windows Now

In case you ever wondered what misogyny looks like the Taliban is there to help.

The latest news is that the regime wants to ban windows because, what’s the worst thing about a window? It’s that you might see a woman through one.

Taking to X, where a lot of other women-haters go, a spokesman for the Taliban said that new buildings should not have windows through which it is possible to see 'the courtyard, kitchen, neighbour's well and other places usually used by women'.

Honestly, for a while there, I thought he was listing euphemisms for lady parts. I think I know what the kitchen is, and the well – you dirty pup.

He claimed that: 'Seeing women working in kitchens, in courtyards or collecting water from wells can lead to obscene acts.'

Instead of the chaps just looking away they think the better solution is to stop buildings having windows. Another way would be to scorch the skies, like in the Matrix, so there’s not enough light to see any women in. That seems like a ridiculous idea but you wouldn’t thought the windows thing was a step too far before it was real.

To find out more, here’s video coverage of the story.

» Read the source story

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The UK is Full of S**t (well, the waterways at least)

There is a problem in this country and it smells like you-know-what, because it is you-know-what. Our waterways are full of it.

You’d think the sixth richest nation could manage basic sanitation but in 2024 in the UK you’d be wrong.

It’s so bad that this weekend’s boat race was affected by the amount of e.coli in The Thames. I know what you’re thinking, “When will the kids who go to Oxford and Cambridge Universities get a break in life?”

But it’s an embarrassment that we can’t even hold an event on our rivers now. The rowers were given safety advice before the race that they should avoid getting any splashed water in their mouths. During a rowing race!? You might as well tell them to try not to rush.

Leonard Jenkins of the Oxford men’s team said, “It would be a lot nicer of there wasn’t as much poo in the water.”

How terrible that that needs to be said. The only time that would be worse to hear is in a Trip Advisor review of a cafe.

On Wednesday, Environment Agency figures revealed raw sewage spills doubled last year in England to 3.6 million hours of spills compared with 1.75 million hours in 2022. I was shocked that it happens so much we have to measure poos by the hour. To put this in terms you can relate to, an hour of poo is about 30 trip for a woman and about 2 for a man.

This is because our water systems get overwhelmed when there is a lot of rain. Hello, have you met the UK before? Rain is pretty much our thing. Sewage is spilled into waterways to prevent the system backing up.

In a statement issued before the race, Thames Water said: "We have experienced higher than average long-term rainfall across London.” How can you have higher than average “long-term” rainfall. If it’s long-term, it increases the average. Step up and cope with it.

Water companies have two jobs. Well, they have lots of jobs that they keep releasing into our rivers. But they have two main functions to provide. They should give us clean, drinkable water. Remember that when, in a few months time, we’re going from “higher than average, long-term rainfall” to hosepipe bans.

Water firms in England and Wales lost 1 trillion litres via leaky pipes in 2021. That’s more than three and a half Lake Windermeres wasted, yet you’ll be told you can’t water your Rhododendron.

The other role they need to provide is to take our waste away and keep it away. That’s not what happens. If you’re a wild swimmer there’s a good chance you’ll be reunited with your waste when you go for an open mouthed swim.

What can we do if the water companies continue to fail? Basically, nothing. I’d say fine them but it’ll just be added to the water bills we pay. We’ll pay more for the pleasure of swimming with our own poops. It won’t hit their profits.

In 2022-23, England's water firms made £1.7bn in pre-tax profits. This is up 82% since 2018-19. Water UK, the industry trade body, said bills would increase by 6% on average next financial year – more than the current 4% inflation rate. You know what I’d accuse them of taking, but they’re literally not. They’re letting our boat racers drink it.

It would help if we could have a nuanced debate about privatisation. You don’t have to always love it or always hate it. A public owned British Telecom was slow and needlessly bureaucratic. It used to take months to apply to get a second phone installed in your own home. But privatisation only works when you can bring in competition. If I don’t like my local water company my only option is to buy a lot of bottled water and wash my clothes in a local river and I’m not going near that, it’s full of poops.

Having a private company in charge of a local monopoly will always mean they prioritise profits over reinvestment to keep the system running.

If you have any solutions I would say you should float them by me, but we have enough of that happening already.

Another Steve N Allen prediction is coming true. pic.twitter.com/pnsg7LlPI7

— Steve N Allen (@mrstevenallen) April 3, 2024

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Death Slide Reopened

A video of a slide in Detroit went viral because it showed people hurtling down the slide banging into the hard surface. It’s a heath and safety nightmare but that’s entertainment these days.

It's 40 feet high, six lanes wide and probably invalidated medial insurance. It’s like someone has invented “extreme” playgrounding. There has even been a rap song inspired by it, which doesn’t help break the link between rap music and violence.

It’s reopened after a slight redesign, which the organisers claim will have slowed it down. Either that or they may have built a hospital nearby just in case.

Here’s a video to explain more.

@mrstevenallen #DeathSlide #HealthAndSafety ♬ original sound - Steve N Allen

>Read the source story

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Finnish PM Sanna Marin Has Backup Dancers

Hundreds of Finnish women have posted to social media supporting their prime minister Sanna Marin. She was caught up in a scandal when video emerged of her dancing at a private house party. Is dancing outlawed in Finland? Did they think the film Footloose was a documentary?

Sanna faced criticism of her behaviour when two videos appeared in which she sings and dances at a party with friends and another enjoying herself in a private VIP room of a well-known club in Helsinki.

She defended herself by saying she did nothing but “dance, sing, hug my friends and drink alcohol”. “I hope that in the year 2022 it’s accepted that even decision-makers dance, sing and go to parties.”

In 2022 yes. But in 2021 that hugging part would have been the problem.

Watch more coverage in the video below.

The #FinlandPrimeMinister #SannaMarinVideo somehow nearly caused a scandal. pic.twitter.com/XiOxhbxMNH

— Steve N Allen (@mrstevenallen) August 21, 2022

>Read the source story

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How Not To Give A Birthday Gift

If you enjoy the misfortune of others but wish you had an exact value for that fortune here’s one for you. Someone was given £100 for her birthday but it ended in disaster (for her, but a nearby seagull has probably ended up living it large).

Here’s a video that explains it all.

@mrstevenallen How not to give a #birthday gift. #comedy #schadenfreude ♬ original sound - Steve N Allen

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Will Smith Says Sorry For Slap Heard Around The World

Will Smith has posted an apology video in which he discusses slapping Chris Rock at the Academy Awards in March. He says he "reached out" to Chris, but that just sounds like he was going in for seconds.

In the video on his YouTube channel Will said, "So I will say to you, Chris, I apologise to you." Shame he didn't act like that during his acceptance speach, but I suppose there are two types of acceptance.

In the five-minute video, Mr SMith talked about his decision not to immediately apologise saying he was in a fog. He didn't mention why he is doing this now, but after a ten year ban from the Oscars maybe he's thinking there's some work to do.

Here's a video looking at Will Smith's video.

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[VIDEO] A Look At The Vaccines

There has been a lot in the news lately about problems with vaccines. Not just the usual tinfoil hat types who think vaccines are evil and anyone who doesn't follow what they see on the Internet is a sheep - oh the irony - but supply lines, health worries and almost a smear campaign from the EU.

In this video we take a look at some of the issues.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep17 - Trump on Race, Train Face Masks & UK Lockdown Sex Laws

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at Trumps handling of yet another crisis in America, the face mask rule for UK public transport and the Government's rules on intimate relations.

Here's episode 17.


If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep16 - Meet in Groups, SpaceX & Trump V Twitter

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at the latest English rules of having 6 people in your garden, the launch of the Space X mission and Trump battling Twitter.

Here's episode 16.


If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep15 - Cummings, Trump's Positive & Cannabis Cure

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at the latest Dominic Cummings news, why Trump has tested positive and there are a few new cures for Covid19 coming out way.

Here's episode 15.


If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep13 - Quarantine, Trump Drugs & Boris Scores

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at the 14 day quarantine getting into the UK, Trump on drugs and Boris Johnson's approval rating.

Here's episode 13.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep12 - Garden Centres, New Normal People & Mouthwash

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at garden centres reopening, the "new normal" may ruin the TV show Normal People, and can mouthwash help with coronavirus.

Here's episode 12.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep11 - Bryan Adams, Staying Alert & Stand-Up

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at Staying Alert, Bryan Adams losing it, and crowds in stand-up gigs.

Here's episode 11.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep10

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at Meghan's reading skills, The Prof who had an affair in lockdown and rich people's baby names.

Here's episode 10.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep9

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at Alex Jones, smaller courts and Olly Murs.

Here's episode 9.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep8

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at the return of the pubs, the Covid contact tracker and face coverings from Boris.

Here's episode 8.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep7

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this one we look at UFOs, Boris Johnson's return and celeb cocktail making.

Here's episode 7.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep6

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this one we look at lockdown sports, the latest on a cure for Covid-19 and flattening the curve explained.

Here's episode 6.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep5

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this one we look at what the 19 means in Covid-19, why Trump has a bigger fear of malaria, and Idris's great plan to ruin the economy every year for a week.

Here's episode 5.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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