26/04/2022

Unlike Angela Rayer, The Mail On Sunday Doesn't Have A Leg To Stand On

The latest political scandal is #Pantygate.

The Mail on Sunday ran a story saying an unnamed Tory MP claimed that Angela Rayner uncrosses and crosses her legs to distract Boris Johnson like in the film Basic Instinct.

If you haven't seen that film, do you remember that Kenny Everett character? Or possible like Neo in The Matrix getting up after being knocked down. It’s hard to know what the motion was like because it very probably doesn’t actually happen.

The whole claim seems ridiculous. Are we to believe that the Prime Minister of the UK is a priapic, lascivious fool? OK well, that bit checks out but the rest…

As you can see in the photo there’s no way Boris Johnson could even see her legs; he’d only see the box.

There is an attempt to find out which Tory member was behind the claims. They’re looking for someone who might hold outdated views about women. No doubt that’s numbered it down so much they’ll be telling us who it is any second now.

Boris Johnson called it, “Sexist tripe.” Or maybe he said, “Sexy tripe,” which might be how he refers to us Northerners.

The article wasn’t only dripping with misogyny there was classism and snobbery. It’s become a huge distraction from the real issues. Normally the only bit of knee in the Labour Party the Mail on Sunday gets upset about is when someone is kneeling on it.

If the claims are true this is an embarrassment to politics. If he claims are false, it’s an embarrassment to tabloid journalism. Why not be on the safe side and think less of both?

Tech minister Chris Philp said there was “ongoing, active work” to root out such “offensive views” within the Conservative Party. Yes, and leave those comments where they belong… in a Boris Johnson Telegraph article.

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18/04/2022

Russia Bans Boris

Russia has banned Boris Johnson and twelve others from entering country. Oh no, that’s so mean.

It means Priti Patel can’t go to live in Russia, and we know how much she likes the idea of migration.

It manes Rishi Sunak can’t go to Russia. How dare they ban someone who very recently had an American green card.

The Russian Foreign Ministry has banned them in retaliation for sanctions amid the Ukraine war.

That’ll really hit them where it hurts. I know someone with the first names of Alexander and Boris must have an affinity to Russia but right now I bet no one was planning to go there.

As if anyone British politician would go there now. Your guide would say, “Want to shop in duty free and buy some perfume? We have one called Salisbury Cathedral.” They’d run for it.

I’m surprised that it’s only just happened. We brought in sanctioned, banned some Russian officials and they only just got round to it. I suppose they have been a bit busy. This is what happens when you have to do you official meetings on a table that’s 100 yards long.

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