29/04/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Extra Ep3 - Death Toll, Boris Baby & Hair

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is here. This is a podcast-only show, not cropping up anywhere else. It's a behind the scenes chat with Steve and Erich about setting up the show and how it is going so far. A "making of", if you will.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

In this episode we look at home hairdressing, Boris and the baby (and the paternity leave issue) and the latest on the American death figures.





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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep7

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this one we look at UFOs, Boris Johnson's return and celeb cocktail making.

Here's episode 7.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep6

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this one we look at lockdown sports, the latest on a cure for Covid-19 and flattening the curve explained.

Here's episode 6.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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24/04/2020

Trump To Detergent Coronavirus

Donald Trump has done it again. He is so often right that it should come as no surprise that he has done it again.

In a White House briefing he suggested we do some research into whether detergent could be used as a treatment for Covid-19, by injecting it or using it to clean the lungs.

A little bit of research shows that he’s right. Bleach will kill the virus. Sadly it will also kill other thing, like the people who have bleach injected into them. That means that bleach could be used to get rid of the virus if you’re OK with getting rid of the person too. It won’t help your death rate graph but it will flatten that infection rate curve.

By the same logic we should look into arsenic, strychnine and anthrax being potential ways to kill the virus.

He also said we should see if UV light could be used to kill this coronavirus. Again, he’s right, if we’re talking about being a vampire instead of coronavirus. They are easily confused; they both involve staying indoors all day.

As much as it’s funny that the most powerful person in the world has said this, it’s a worry that some Trump supporters will follow this advice. When it was hydroxychloroquine, people took it, risked some complications, but it wasn’t too bad. It was also harder to get hydroxychloroquine. Everyone has bleach at home, so it is a worry that people will try it.

Some will cruelly call this natural selection in action, but don’t be so smug. If Trump causes a rush on bleach, how am I going to buy mine to clean the loo? I had enough on when I couldn’t get loo roll. What is it about this pandemic that seems to be attacking our bathrooms?

I shouldn’t have to point it out but don’t drink bleach. And to be fair, Trump wasn’t saying we should drink it. He wasn’t even saying we should use it externally. He would never put bleach on his skin and ruin that perfect fake tan. And if he does, getting some of that UV cure could help. See, I knew he’d make sense.

➡See the source story

[Video]: Here's some video content about coronavirus cures




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[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep6 - Lockdown Sports, Trump v His Staff & Flat Curves

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. Here you can get the audio from the live streaming shows and some podcast-only extras too.

In this episode (the audio from live show 6) we look at the battle between Trump and his staff, some sports you can do in lockdown and we look at flattening the curve.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode six.





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[Columns] Oh Idris, You Don't Get Out Much

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news.

In this one, from a newspaper in Essex, I look at Idris Elba's advice for remembering what have been through. Somehow I think I'll just remember it, or leave myself a Post It note, but each to their own.

Click to have a read.




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22/04/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Extra Ep2 - Too Much Trump, Matt (Crying) Hancock & CILFs

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is here. This is a podcast-only show, not cropping up anywhere else. It's a behind the scenes chat with Steve and Erich about setting up the show and how it is going so far.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's the extra show, episode two. We talk about bits that happened during the filming of the last show, we talk about data as a plural, Matt Hancock looking like he wanted to cry, Trump's approach to it all and loads more stuff. And we ask, "Would you be willing to be in a coronavirus vaccine trial?" You can answer that on email comics@somenews.co.uk and we'll talk more about that in the video show.





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[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep5 - No Touch Shopping, Covid Numbers & Trump

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. Here you can get the audio from the live streaming shows and some podcast-only extras too.

In this episode (the audio from live show 5) we look at the 19 part of Covid 19, even though we really shouldn't have to. We look at Trump's dealing with the crisis and there are new rules about how to shop.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode five.





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[Columns] Staying In

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news. In this one, from a newspaper in Wiltshire, I look at the kind of people who don't stay in like they should.

Click to have a read.




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21/04/2020

[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep5

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this one we look at what the 19 means in Covid-19, why Trump has a bigger fear of malaria, and Idris's great plan to ruin the economy every year for a week.

Here's episode 5.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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The Traffic Light System - Our Way Out Of Lockdown

At the moment, no one knows when the lockdown will end. That is part of what makes it so hard. Not knowing is always a challenge. For some of us. There are some people who seem to take not knowing things to an extreme level, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about today.

Right now it is important to remember that, while we don’t know when it will end, we know that it will end at some point. These rules won’t stay in place for the rest of civilisation. We can’t go within two metres of people we don’t live with. If that rule stayed in place we’d stop reproducing within a generation. Yes, webcam sales would go through the roof, but we won’t be repopulating the planet.

In the UK, the Government has released some details on how the end of the lockdown could go. A phased release of the rules to get us back to normal.

They have introduced a traffic light system of red, amber and green. But these things never actually go by the traffic light rules. We won’t have red and amber at the same time telling us we can get ready to go. Amber won’t flash. They don’t think these things through.

RED PHASE

First up, “Red Phase”. I think it’s called that because of the Red Room in Fifty Shades. You’re allowed to do some things in there but there’s a very high chance you’ll be punished still.

In it we will see schools and hairdressers reopen. It’s a shame about the hairdressers. I’ve been enjoying all the tweets by people who are in desperate need of a trim. I was hoping that by the time the lockdown is removed people would walk out of their homes like the end of a 1970s sci-fi film.

The details say that in this stage the public will still be urged to avoid non-essential travel. That’s actually a good rule for life. If you don’t need to be anywhere else don’t go. That way you spend less time travelling and don’t end up where you don’t need to be.

AMBER PHASE

Then we move onto “Amber Phase”. That sounds like a woman in a Scissor Sisters tribute band.

In this phase companies with fewer than 50 staff can reopen. This is the first problem. After the big companies have laid people off they’re probably down to this classification now, and it also mean, if you work for a company with 51 staff. Ooooh, bye bye.

It says, “Restaurants will be allowed to take customers while taking action to limit person-to-person contact.” I presume that means they have to serve everything with onions and garlic.

During this stage, people on public transport will be told to wear masks. I think that’s right. I don’t know if masks help stem the transmission of the virus, but you look at some people on public transport and think, “Christ! Cover that face!”

GREEN PHASE

Ah, finally, we will get to the “Green Phase”.

Gyms will reopen, which means people can stop running like they have been every day and go back to being less fit in the gym.

Pubs will open too, and maybe the stand-up comedy world will come back to life and I can spend less time writing on here. See, we all win.

They say the pubs will have some restrictions but they don’t specify them. I’m hoping it will be based around keeping people apart at the bar. Maybe a queuing system. Yes, coronavirus has caused massive upset, but if it ends the system of people crushing to the bar and someone getting served before me, at least it has some positives

➡Read the source story

[Audio]: Here's some audio on coronavirus




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[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep4 - Cyclists, Getting Away With Stuff & Furloughing

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running.

In this episode we ask if someone made the coronavirus outbreak happen just to get to use the word furlough, what can you get away with now they no one is looking and what's with all the exercise?

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode four.





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[VIDEO] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems

During the lockdown we're doing live streaming shows. Seeing as we're not allowed near audiences we're using the Internet. Twice a week we're broadcasting live into your homes from our homes. Tune in Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9pm BST.


During the shows you can tweet @mrstevenallen and @erichmcelroy

You can see the shows streaming on various streaming sites.
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And if you have enjoyed the content, maybe think about leaving a tip and buying a coffee for our efforts. Donate here.


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20/04/2020

Prince Philip Speaks To Corona Workers

Prince Philip has praised the key workers helping to fight the coronavirus. That is a sentiment that you have to agree with. These people are working so hard to save lives. Surely no one could sit around and rib the Prince for what he said.

Well, you’d think that, but I do have a lot of spare time on my hands.

It’s nice that he sent a message to the NHS workers, but he doesn’t need them. He must get the finest care available from the top private people. That’s like some royals Zoom messaging some state schools. *Remembers that exactly what William and Kate did last week*

They’re mocking us. It’s like posh people talking about how much they love going to Aldi for the wines.

The prince praised the "vital and urgent work" being done by key workers. And I imagine he added that he was sorry he couldn’t be there in person to add some racially dodgy comments to the nurses himself. It’s not the same if he doesn’t. It’s like booking Rod Hull and him turning up without the emu.

If Philip wants to make some dodgy comments he should act quickly. When these people are wearing the correct PPE, with the masks and eye protection getting in the way, it’ll be hard to work out what thing you shouldn’t say. That PPE could arrive at any minute, so now is the best time for him.

The thin, white Duke wrote the message to mark World Immunisation Week.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know that was a week. For me, every week is an immunisation week. Normally I would be in favour of anything that rubs it in the face of the anti-vaxxers but I have started to feel a little sorry for them. They have been oddly quiet. With experts rushing to find a vaccine for this coronavirus it is a bad time to be talking about how you don’t like vaccines.

The Flat Earthers can believe what they want and no one dies from falling off the Earth, but being an anti-vaxxer during a pandemic is tricky. I suppose it is a akin to living during a famine but being the kind of person who goes on about the 5:2 diet.

Philip is currently following self-isolating and social distancing guidelines along with the Queen at Windsor Castle. I have never lived in a castle but it must be hard to not self-isolate. You could get lost in a wing and avoid humans for days. When you live in a one-bed flat, it’s more of a challenge.

So, he took time while sitting around at home to publish a message about the current situation. That’s basically what I’m doing with all the podcasts and videos I’m producing.

The only difference is, people actually care what he has to say. So yeah, turns out I can’t really mock him for it.

➡Read the source story

[Audio]: Here's some audio on coronavirus




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[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Extra Ep1 - Behind The Scenes Chat With Steve & Erich

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. This is a podcast-only show, not cropping up anywhere else. It's a behind the scenes chat with Steve and Erich about setting up the show and how it is going so far.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's the extra show, episode one.





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[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep3 - Satirists, Trump Cheques & High-fiving

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running.

In this episode we look at the role that satirists play in the new world order, the other options to replace the handshake for the rest of civilisation and what is must be like to get money with Trump's name on it.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode three.





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[Columns] Strictly Come Coronavirus Dancing

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news. In this one we look at new of how Strictly Come Dancing is following in The Mash Report's footsteps and finding a way to film. Click to have a read.

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19/04/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep2 - Lockdown Woes, Priti Patel & Face Masks

The podcast version of the webshow Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running.

In this episode we look at Priti Patel's maths and how it compares to Donald Trump's. We look at the issue of face masks and see what kind of things are making lockdown even harder.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode two.





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18/04/2020

Should We Wear Face Masks At Work?

Should we wear a mask or not? This is becoming the coronavirus-related issue I struggle with the most.

What I liked about the Covid-19 pandemic – and you have to go some to find the bits you like about a pandemic – was that we had put our trust in the experts again. After Brexit had made us thumb our noses at anyone foolish enough to actually do the learning, there was nothing like the imminent fear of death to make us like experts again.

We trusted the profs. Boris trusted them. Boris stood within two metres of them to do some press conferences.

On the issue of masks, the experts told us we didn’t need them. They said that they weren’t proven and that they didn’t filter out things as small as a pesky little RNA-filled bag of protein like Covid-19 so what would be the point?

I believed them because they were the experts. For a small second I thought to myself, “Isn’t Covid-19 spread in aerosols of breathed out spittle, so the issue should be the diameter of those rather than the size of a virus? But whatever man, they’re the ones with the qualifications.”

Then the news told us that countries that had forced their people to wear masks out of the house were doing better than us with lower transmission and death rates. Now our papers are telling us we may have to wear masks when we go back to work.

That is going to be quite a culture shock. After three weeks of lockdown I am not sure I’ll get used to wearing trousers again, let alone wearing something new.

Yes, having the lower part of your face covered will make it easier to pretend to be interested in meetings. And yes, making everyone wear a mask will spare us from the Darren from Accounts and his wicked bad breath. But there are downsides too.

Anyone who reads lips will take this personally.

Remember, if we have to wear face masks, the key is to wear them on our faces. I see so many people with the mask pulled down around their chins because they’re talking on the phone. Wearing a face mask on your chin is like wearing a condom on your balls.

[Audio]: Here's some audio on coronavirus




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17/04/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep1 - Clapping, Covid Pets & End of Handshakes

And a new podcast was born.

During the Coronavirus age that we're all going through, we (Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy) and doing some live-streaming webshows. They're called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems. You can find the videos here. If you're watching them, great. But if you're not, the audio is turned into a podcast. The Comics Aren't Essential podcast is now a thing. Get involved.

Here's episode one.





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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep4

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this one we look at some news from America that probably should be copied in the UK, another side-effect of COVID19 and the things you can get away with now that no one's looking.

Here's episode 4.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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[Columns] Coronavirus Conspiracy Types Are Here

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news. In this one we look at some of the conspiracy types. Click to have a read.

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16/04/2020

[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep3

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

Stay in and watch this, because staying in is saving lives, and therefore this show is saving lives. Don't overthink that logic.

Here's episode 3.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help.
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[Podcast] Corona Special 3 - CARE Badges and Online Shopping

SomeNews podcast
It's the Steve N Allen's Week Podcast (with Steve N Allen), helping us through the lockdown. You can get the last episodes here.

In this podcast:

We look at how hard shopping is, be it in person in a queue or online where you're putting people at risk. We hear about the new CARE badges in the UK and some of the nonsense coming out of America.

We also catch up with publisher and former politics worker Ben Fletcher about how to feel better in the lockdown.

And if you're enjoying the content, think about leaving a tip. You can donate a coffee here.






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15/04/2020

[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep2

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

It's Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy, online, and here's the second episode...


If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help.
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[Podcast] The Full Chat with Jonny Gould

SomeNews podcast
It's the Steve N Allen Podcast (with Steve N Allen). This is kind of episode 2.5. In the last episode (click here to get a copy of that) I had a conversation with broadcaster Jonny Gould about life in lockdown but we couldn't fit that much of it in the main pod. This is a podcast extra bit where we can play the full interview. Enjoy




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