Trump To Detergent Coronavirus

Donald Trump has done it again. He is so often right that it should come as no surprise that he has done it again.

In a White House briefing he suggested we do some research into whether detergent could be used as a treatment for Covid-19, by injecting it or using it to clean the lungs.

A little bit of research shows that he’s right. Bleach will kill the virus. Sadly it will also kill other thing, like the people who have bleach injected into them. That means that bleach could be used to get rid of the virus if you’re OK with getting rid of the person too. It won’t help your death rate graph but it will flatten that infection rate curve.

By the same logic we should look into arsenic, strychnine and anthrax being potential ways to kill the virus.

He also said we should see if UV light could be used to kill this coronavirus. Again, he’s right, if we’re talking about being a vampire instead of coronavirus. They are easily confused; they both involve staying indoors all day.

As much as it’s funny that the most powerful person in the world has said this, it’s a worry that some Trump supporters will follow this advice. When it was hydroxychloroquine, people took it, risked some complications, but it wasn’t too bad. It was also harder to get hydroxychloroquine. Everyone has bleach at home, so it is a worry that people will try it.

Some will cruelly call this natural selection in action, but don’t be so smug. If Trump causes a rush on bleach, how am I going to buy mine to clean the loo? I had enough on when I couldn’t get loo roll. What is it about this pandemic that seems to be attacking our bathrooms?

I shouldn’t have to point it out but don’t drink bleach. And to be fair, Trump wasn’t saying we should drink it. He wasn’t even saying we should use it externally. He would never put bleach on his skin and ruin that perfect fake tan. And if he does, getting some of that UV cure could help. See, I knew he’d make sense.

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